Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Why are you still single?

I didn't know it, but apparently this is a commonly asked question. Especially when a guy gets to be my age. One of the first things a woman asks about him, or asks him directly, is 'Why are you still single?'

Where does this come from? Why is being married the default condition, the departure from which we must explain? WTF is wrong with you people?

Maybe I should start asking why someone is divorced or a single parent? Maybe I should inquire why someone is continuing in a loveless relationship? Oh, wait. I shouldn't. Why shouldn't I? Because it's rude as hell!

OK, thanks for that rant. Move along, nothing to see here.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

This is Maryana. She's on her way from the Ukraine right now. After buying the house I had a bit of spare cash left over, so I thought..."What else do I really need? New TV? New pipes on the Ducati? New optics on my rifle? Hmmmm, why not a wife?" I called this company in New Jersey and ordered up Maryana.

Apparently we've got to get married within 30 days of her arrival or they ship her back, so we'll be heading to the courthouse probably a day or two after she arrives.

We're regsitered at Macy's, Wal-Mart, and Dollar General!