Friday, October 26, 2007

The folly of believing you're a nice guy

What does it even mean? It's a rant I've run across often on single's message boards and support forums.

"Women don't like nice guys, they only want bad boys." opined a mid-twenties gentleman from the upper midwest.

Sorry there bucko, but you're incorrect.

Here's some facts about women that I don't think are far over reaching.

1. Women like men. (well, most of them do)
2. Even women who say they hate men, actually secretly still like men.
3. Women are not as confusing or as hard to understand as most men, or women, think.

Confidence fellas. That's the bottom line.

Women don't like bad boys because they're bad. They like them because they believe in themselves, and are willing to stand apart from the crowd and be their own person. They demonstrate what women perceive (often correctly, but not always) as strength of character.

Often nice guys talk about how they'll do anything for a woman they love, only to be relegated to the purgatory of the friend zone.

Think about this. A woman doesn't respect a man who will wait on her hand and foot for no other purpose than to be in her presence. How could a man even respect himself in that situation?

As a man, who do you respect most? What qualities about a person would cause you to admire someone's character and their ability? Women admire strength, achievement, prowess, and intelligence just like men do. The only difference is that confidence and accomplishment is to a woman what cleavage is to a man.

So think on it fellas. Next time you're indulging in the 'nice guy' rant. Besides your ability to be a footstool or lackey for the woman you're attracted to, what do you bring to a relationship?

Go out and accomplish something. And then believe in your own excellence based on that/those accomplishments. You don't have to be the alpha male, necessarily, but you DO have to believe in and like who you are.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

THANK YOU! Confidence, having an actual opinion instead of merely agreeing with me, and having your own life is sexy! Hanging onto my every word, doing whatever I want to do, and claiming to think my thoughts is creepy -- not a sign that we have a lot in common!

I'm also sick of hearing these whiny baby shitheads complain about being a so-called Nice Guy. Truth be told, if you were an actual nice guy, you'd be fine with friendship, since getting into a woman's pants isn't the only reason to get to know her.