Fantasies

Don't worry, this won't involve whipped cream, sweater puppets, or baby oil.

But a common question posited by women to men is 'what are your fantasies?'.

I have a few of them, none of which will probably fit the mold.

Fantasy number one is simple, it's to be involved in something while we're over here. To friggin' shoot back, to do something more useful than stare out into the landscape of Iraq and pray that SOMETHING happens today. Of course someone is going to hit me with 'be careful what you wish for'. To that I say 'bring it!'.

Fantasy number two is indoor plumbing. I just woke up an hour or so ago, and I hate having to stumble out in the middle of the night (which since I'm now on the night shift is actually around 3pm) to go pee.

Fantasy number three is the most fleshed out. The theory of relativity says that as one's speed increases relative to another object then the sense of time is compressed relative to the other object. For the purposes of this narrative we'll call the other object 'everything else' and the object traveling at speed will be me on the Ducati (Monster S2R since I can't quite swing the price of the Monster S4RS).

In my mind's eye I see myself stuffing a a couple hundred bucks in the pocket of my jeans, throwing on my helmet and walking out to the bike. It's a late spring day in Nebraska. Sunny, but the heat hasn't really kicked in yet. My hands are already buzzing with anticipation. I crank the starter, and then I'm in nirvana. I thread my way through town (damn stoplights, stupid mini-vans) until I'm on the I-80 exit, then the fun begins. 25mph warns the sign on the tight right hander putting me into the interestate. Yeah, right. I lean on the throttle, and look over my left shoulder, good to go. Once the turn straightens out I find that I'm very likely committing several moving violations. And the beautiful thing about relativity is that my sense of time while I'm doing this is suddenly not in synch with 'everything else'.

Now if someone knows some good places in eastern Nebraska, West Iowa, Northwest Missouri to go carve some corners please let me know. I'm not sure I can handle riding all the way to Colorado every weekend.

My dad is always on me to put up some more photos. Here's a couple of me and my battle buddy returning from an immediate reaction force mission. Don't let the term freak you out. The immediate reaction force usually rolls out to chase kids away from the gate, or to guard a bunch of engineers building a new fence. But its outside the wire, so it's better than sitting around and picking your nose.