American Hoplite

Walking away

2009-12-11T13:06:00.000-06:00

Your embrace is just a memory now, like a passage read long ago, the details and context are lost to me. I go through the pattern of my day hardly even remembering that I was, not so long ago, in love.

Whether you are evil or just thoughtless is no longer important to me, so I will waste no time in trying to figure this out. I just know that I'm relieved that you are fleeing from my mind, and I gain distance from my broken heart every day.

At first I wished you well and honestly wished that we could be reconciled, but now am glad that the hole you left in my life is filling with other things. I miss you, but I'm glad you're gone.

Husker Paean or Haka

2009-08-30T20:28:00.000-05:00

In the battles that we go through in life
We ask for a chance that's fair
A chance to earn our stripes
A chance to do and to dare

And if we should win
Let it be by the code
With our faith and our honor held high
And if we should lose
Let us stand by the road
And cheer as the winners go by

DAY BY DAY
WE GET BETTER AND BETTER
A TEAM THAT CAN'T BE BEAT
WON'T BE BEAT!

GBR 2009!!!

A word about warfare in the modern age

2009-08-09T14:23:00.000-05:00

Warriors.

Piss on warriors.

Seriously? Honor? The only honor a Soldier requires is the victorious accomplishment of his mission. Go ahead, stand across from me on the field of battle and raise your sword in salute. While you're looking at me engaging in your bullshit gesture I'm smirking back. Because I know that my men whom I've trained and disciplined to the peak of their skill are lying, cheating, stealing and sneaking their way around to your flank. In about 30 seconds they're going to fuck you in the ass while I watch, and you'll be dead before you ever know what happened. And as we roll over you and your men I will walk past your corpse and my salute will be to roll my eyes at you as we consolidate on our position and hope you brothers back behind you try some other honorable warrior tactic to try and knock us off this hill. Why? Because fuck you, that's why.

Professionalism. Disciplined, pragmatic brutality. Take your 19th century romanticism and embrace the shit out of it for all I care. This is the 21st century and I owe my country victory and my absolute best effort. Everything else is for fairy tales.

Vote!

2008-10-05T19:55:00.001-05:00

It's becoming so effing cliche'd anymore. Some celebrity or another standing up their on TV encouraging everyone to vote.

"Whatever your stand on the issues may be, vote!"

Ever seen any of them get up their and talk about what a citizen's responsibilities to their society and their government might be? Duty, responsibility, accountability. None of these things are sexy or entertaining. But they're vital to the health of our nation.

Pay your taxes, find a job, don't be a drag on the economy or your culture. Get an education, and go be useful with it.

Better yet, raise your right hand and put your own precious body between your home and war's desolation. Fewer and fewer people are doing it, and so the necessity becomes greater than ever.

Whatever you do, don't just vote, don't just stand there...do something!

MTFBWY

A Barbarian Looks at 40

2008-09-27T09:53:00.001-05:00

David Byrne famously asked "Well, how did I get here?" I know exactly what he meant.

Oddly enough forty isn't as frightening as I thought it would be. I'm as healthy as I've ever been, although my fitness has declined a bit that's due to post-war laziness. Financially I'm in good shape despite a turbulent economy. I have lots of friends and they are, without exception, some of the finest people there could be.

You live your life each day, it would be nice to say that each day you'd done your best, but most days I try not to screw up, and make an honest effort not to let down the people who depend on me. Maybe I'm pacing myself? Either way, one day you look at the calendar and see that a milestone is approaching. They sneak up on a person. Milestones carry only what importance each individual chooses to attach to them. I've always believed that the way you live each day is more important than the manner in which you commemorate milestones. But, to quote Ferris Bueller "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around, you might miss it."

So friends, family, acquaintances and admirers. Tip back a glass of your favorite whatever on the 7th. Murf is 40 and still going strong!

For those of you who haven't received an e-vite for the fiesta on the 25th drop me an e-mail and I'll make sure you get put on the list.

Oh, and whatever wealthy benefactors might like to enhance my celebration, here's my

Why are you still single?

2008-04-02T16:36:00.000-05:00

I didn't know it, but apparently this is a commonly asked question. Especially when a guy gets to be my age. One of the first things a woman asks about him, or asks him directly, is 'Why are you still single?'

Where does this come from? Why is being married the default condition, the departure from which we must explain? WTF is wrong with you people?

Maybe I should start asking why someone is divorced or a single parent? Maybe I should inquire why someone is continuing in a loveless relationship? Oh, wait. I shouldn't. Why shouldn't I? Because it's rude as hell!

OK, thanks for that rant. Move along, nothing to see here.

2008-04-01T08:20:00.001-05:00

This is Maryana. She's on her way from the Ukraine right now. After buying the house I had a bit of spare cash left over, so I thought..."What else do I really need? New TV? New pipes on the Ducati? New optics on my rifle? Hmmmm, why not a wife?" I called this company in New Jersey and ordered up Maryana.

Apparently we've got to get married within 30 days of her arrival or they ship her back, so we'll be heading to the courthouse probably a day or two after she arrives.

We're regsitered at Macy's, Wal-Mart, and Dollar General!

St Patty's Day in Nebraska?

2008-03-17T22:57:00.000-05:00

Nebraska is a great place. There's a work ethic, a respect for learning, and a sense of family that when combined build a capable, resilient populace.

Southeast Nebraska, where I live, was settled primarily by Germans and Czechs. They're a hard working, hard drinking people. I'm mostly of Irish descent, with a bit of German and Dutch thrown in to make things confusing. I mostly fit in here, but I suppose I identify most with my Irish heritage. The Germans had Hitler, and the Dutch had William of Orange, while the Irish have James Joyce, Patrick O'Brien, and lots of novels by Leon Uris celebrating their heritage.

This is all preamble to describing my first St. Patrick's Day back in Nebraska after a two year hiatus. Two years ago we were in New Orleans with too much money in our pockets, and too much time in the field in our psyches. Last year we were in Iraq.

Now, I'm moving into my new house this coming weekend, so I decided not to travel anywhere and instead enjoyed a quiet St Patty's Day in Lincoln, Nebraska.

After work I boxed up a couple of book cases, and washed two loads of towels (they fold quickly), then headed up the road to my local sports bar. It's not a bad place, but outside of Nebraska football Saturdays it has nothing particular to recommend it besides Guinness on tap.

The atmosphere just wasn't that festive. A rueben (no corned beef and cabbage available), some french fries, and Guinness. Of course I'm surrounded by yuppy wannabes drinking green beer and listening to Metallica on the jukebox. No Dropkick Murphys, no drunken singing, no beads, not much fun at all.

Next year I'm traveling. Chicago, Boston, or New Orleans. Just not here. Not until Lincoln gets a real Irish pub, anyway.

Home Construction

2008-03-14T19:09:00.000-05:00

Today was supposed to be the day I closed on my new house. No foreshadowing here, everything's fine, my loan processed painlessly with a happy-making interest rate, and the house is in good shape, just a week behind schedule.

It looks awesome, so far. My friend Scott and I went and checked it out tonight after work. It's painted, the hardwood floor and tile is in on the first floor, still no carpet on the 2nd. They finally poured the garage floor, but haven't drywalled the garage yet.

I'm taking off five days around next weekend to finish packing, close on the house, and move. With any luck in ten days I'll be sleeping happily in my brand new home! How cool is that?

More from the bowels of the 'Nice Guy'

2008-03-10T22:30:00.000-05:00

I'm a frequent poster on a dating website/forum. One of the constantly reoccurring laments is that of the 'nice guy'. "Why don't girls like nice guys?" the shout into the wind, "The always go for the bad boys instead!"

It gets old fast. Here's my latest reply to a whiny 'nice guy'.

Another nice guy thread? Seriously?

I'm beginning to believe the true 'nice guy' is as mythical as the mothman or sasquatch.

If you are truly a 'nice guy' then you would offer a woman friendship with no expectations of anything in return, and therefor wouldn't be angry or disappointed by any lack of success in this area. If you're a 'nice guy' who's pissed that he's not getting any action then I submit that you actually are NOT a nice guy, but are instead a passive/aggressive player wannabe who doesn't have to confidence to actually play the game.

The 'bad boy' is often the true nice guy. He's out there being his own person with no expectations or demands. He enjoys the company of the woman that he's with for her own worth. He's not playing a game.

Have confidence in yourself, go out in the world and be who you are with a smile and no expectations. You might be very surprised how women respond.

Day 2? Ugh

2008-02-13T08:53:00.001-06:00

Day 2? Ugh

Did a bit more last night, started with some light calesthenics, then 20 minutes on the eliptical machine. It hurt, way more than this kind of stuff did when I was in my 20's or even early 30's. I still refuse to admit that I'm fast approaching 40 though.

And what did I receive as a reward for my effort when I stepped on the scale this morning? 205...that's right, I gained four pounds in one day. WTF?

Working out again, Day 1

2008-02-12T09:23:00.000-06:00

Last night I started hitting the gym again. I pretty much gave up back in September and I've been pretty static since then.

No point in bragging on my results, but just like we train in the Army...crawl, walk, run. Last night was day 1 of crawl. We'll see how tonight goes.

The scale said 201 this morning. 31 pounds to go!

Sorry so non-prolific

2007-11-23T22:46:00.000-06:00

Almost a month since I've written anything here.

I'm ensconced in Springfield, MO taking full advantage of my father and his wife Joy's considerable hospitality. I'll never understand people who resent or don't get along with their families. Mine is wonderful, and I'm both proud and pleased to be descended from them. If that sounds a bit too Eddie Haskell, well tough shit.

I'm enjoying putting on a few (or ten) holiday pounds, but working them off after the new year is likely to be challenging to say the least. I'll be Mr. Self-Help fitness guy again at that point, and probably insufferable in my certainty that I'm always right, and I'm working harder than anyone else in here. No, I still don't intend to go to Ranger School this summer, or ever, but I might as well get back into the kind of shape where such a thing isn't just a cruel joke.

Lots of full weekends with work stuff, Army stuff, family stuff, and more Army stuff. My Guitar Hero controller sits woefully underused by my TV, and as you can see my blog suffers from lack of attention as well.

I need to sit still for a bit and think of something good, something important to write. It was a six hour drive down here (which I did in five hours fifteen minutes thank you very much) and I was full of ideas which flew right out of my head as soon as I turned off the engine and stepped out of the little green truck.

Zombies, Soldiers, interstellar princes and pirates beware. My imagination will once more flow with dangers and trials to quell the heart of any Cimmerian or Jedi.

Happy Thanksgiving too all my friends and family.

Thanks Tosca, you rule.

Stun Gunned by Shatner!

2007-10-27T10:22:00.000-05:00

I just watched the guy who beat me out for the 7th grade school play get stun gunned by William Shatner!

Here, you can see it too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oT1heZBxsFY

His name is Jim Hanna. It's been kinda fun seeing him here and there, in tv shows like Angel and Bones, Alias, and Malcom in the Middle.

Here's his IMDB page:

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0360209/

So look for Jim sometime. I haven't really spoken to him in years, I doubt he'd remember much about me at all, but when I knew him he was a hilariously funny, and all around good guy.

I hope for his continued success, and maybe at our 25 year reunion I won't have to be in some far flung war torn corner of the world, and I can say hello.

The folly of believing you're a nice guy

2007-10-26T14:38:00.000-05:00

What does it even mean? It's a rant I've run across often on single's message boards and support forums.

"Women don't like nice guys, they only want bad boys." opined a mid-twenties gentleman from the upper midwest.

Sorry there bucko, but you're incorrect.

Here's some facts about women that I don't think are far over reaching.

1. Women like men. (well, most of them do)
2. Even women who say they hate men, actually secretly still like men.
3. Women are not as confusing or as hard to understand as most men, or women, think.

Confidence fellas. That's the bottom line.

Women don't like bad boys because they're bad. They like them because they believe in themselves, and are willing to stand apart from the crowd and be their own person. They demonstrate what women perceive (often correctly, but not always) as strength of character.

Often nice guys talk about how they'll do anything for a woman they love, only to be relegated to the purgatory of the friend zone.

Think about this. A woman doesn't respect a man who will wait on her hand and foot for no other purpose than to be in her presence. How could a man even respect himself in that situation?

As a man, who do you respect most? What qualities about a person would cause you to admire someone's character and their ability? Women admire strength, achievement, prowess, and intelligence just like men do. The only difference is that confidence and accomplishment is to a woman what cleavage is to a man.

So think on it fellas. Next time you're indulging in the 'nice guy' rant. Besides your ability to be a footstool or lackey for the woman you're attracted to, what do you bring to a relationship?

Go out and accomplish something. And then believe in your own excellence based on that/those accomplishments. You don't have to be the alpha male, necessarily, but you DO have to believe in and like who you are.

Shifting Gears

2007-10-26T13:26:00.000-05:00

I've been home from Iraq for four months now. My feet are pretty firmly replanted on the ground, my career is re-established, and I feel pretty good. While this is definitely something to be happy about, there's also the side effect of an absolute lack of drama or anything interesting to write about.

Therefor I'm going to attempt to write an advice column full of my bullshit philosophical meanderings on the subjects of dating, and establishing the social duties of manhood in the 21st century.

Enjoy!

Opening Day

2007-09-02T12:42:00.000-05:00

Very fun times in Lincoln, NE! My best friend from like 7th grade onward found a job here, and finally moved back from Chicago. So, yay! Best friend back, and that rules.

As a bonus he has Husker season tickets, and I get to go to games with him occasionally. Like yesterday, opening day. Huge crowds of people wearing red. I'm a pretty rabid Husker fan, not nearly as bad as some, but I do love my football.

It was also neat seeing two of my fellow Soldiers from my unit in Iraq on hand to open the doors when the team ran onto the field. I was sorely tempted to ring one's cell phone while he was standing there on the big screen, but I thought that might be a little cruel.

Great game, though. The team had some kinks to work out in the first quarter, but they were executing with precision by the end of the half. The second half was just an absolute domination. I'm hoping this will be a big year for the guys, they really deserve it.

So after the game I got home, put some lotion on the sunburn (why do I never remember sunscreen?) and relaxed for awhile. Eventually I noticed that I was hungry so I headed for my favorite neighborhood sports bar, Heidelberg's. Normally when I go out alone for dinner I just sit at the bar and watch whatever games are on, but the bar was full and the only table where I could see the TVs (they have like 30 of them) was a pretty large one down front.

Well, it was late I'm on my own so I just grabbed a seat at the far end of the table. I'd made my order (guinness and barbecued ribs) when a young man dressed like an abercrombie and fitch model paused at my table, "Hey, we're having a wedding party and I wonder if you'd mind moving to another table since this is the only one we'll all fit into."

I'm happy to oblige, and pretty easy going. No worries. I moved to the next table over sharing it with a bunch of other fans doing the same thing I am (drinking, eating, and regretting their lack of sunscreen foresight). I watched the 'wedding party' come in. It was obvious he wasn't making things up. It was an evenly gender balanced group, and the young woman I'm guessing was the bride had some flowers woven into her hair. All very nice, but I couldn't help notice that the rest of them were dressed like characters from a hollister, GAP, or A&F commercial.

I'm a pretty informal guy, no doubt. But even I don't think I'd go so far as to have my wedding reception at the sports bar. But at least they got to watch Kansas State lose, and a rookie pitcher for the Red Sox throw a no-hitter in his second major league start.

All in all I'd call the evening a success.

Now its on to housework!

MTFBWY (and me too)

Happenings and Goings On

2007-08-30T12:40:00.000-05:00

Currently I'm watching the Cubs attempt to lose a game to the Brewers. It's 1-1 for the series, and my Cubbies really need to win this one. So...everyone get your rootin' hats on.

So things with the therapist didn't really go that well. I don't honestly know what I expected to hear, but hearing that there's essentially nothing wrong with me that time and a bit of determination won't cure wasn't it. Strangely enough my displeasure over this encounter has re-animated me.

In my kitchen I've always had a dry erase board that I mostly use for keeping notes, to-do lists, phone numbers and the like. The day after my therapy session I wiped it clean and got restarted.

The list of things to do is broken down one by one. The house is being thorougly cleaned one room at a time. Kitchen, living room, guest bathroom, office/guest bedroom, my bathroom, my bedroom. So far I've made it to guest bathroom, but my apartment is already looking alot more liveable. As long as whoever stays out of the 'unclean' areas then I think I'm OK.

I made another list. The therapist said I needed to reconnect with life, and to do so I'd have to establish some things I feel passionate about, and set some goals.

I've always been a fan of the action hero movie genre so I asked myself this question: "Conan, what is best in life?"

I came up with the following answers:

To feel your heart beat strong in a body fit enough to achieve greatness.

To imagine wondrous things, and communicate these imaginings to others.

To be at peace in one's castle. The responsibilities of life mastered, relaxation your only aim.

I also wrote the following in black marker at the very top:

Get up, you are a man. Not an oxygen/glucose conversion factory.

So far so good. I'm not wasting every day, and I try each day to do SOMETHING productive, no matter how small.

I did however lose my prized and pricey Oakley sunglasses somewhere. If anyone's seen them, drop me a note.

MTFBWY

WTF is the matter with me?

2007-08-15T21:08:00.001-05:00

Sunday a buddy and I went for a long ride. As many twisties as we could find in SE Nebraska (not many) some speed, some sun, some cheeseburgers. It was a good time.

After about five hours of hard pushing and pulling on the Ducati I was very happy to park it. I pulled into my garage, hit the kill switch and parked it for the day.

Monday morning I had a dentist appointment. Moving around a little slowly. Sore and resigned to another week back at civilian work, I grabbed my helmet and headed back out to my garage. Key in, bike in neutral, mash the starter button and nothing. WTH? Shift down to first, and back into neutral and mash again. Nothing. Pull in clutch. Nada. What the hell?

Well, Ducatis have this strange key setting. If you turn the key all the way past steering lock you can turn on the tail light for some reason known only to Italians. I didn't think I'd done this, but I've already turned the key so that must be what happened. I drive my truck to the dentist.

Monday night I run by Menards and grab a trickle charger ($70). I get home and suffer my usual emotional zero once stepping in the door. Once the work shoes are off and I find myself on the couch I can hardly get up the energy to move. So, the bike sits wanting for attention.

Tuesday, work again, but some friends of mine have been on my case about my lethargy/slothfullness and tell me to take this online test about depression. I do. I win.

Oddly enough knowing that I'm not just some loser but might actually just be having some adjustment issues perks me up a bit. I write a blog entry. It gets a lot of positive comments from friends and family. I feel better about myself. Then I get home and *kabang* into the dumpster again. WTF is wrong with me? Why do I suck so much? I'm just a terrible miserable person who's taking up space and oxygen that most other people could probably use alot more effectively.

Wednesday, up and off to work. Caffeinated. Busy busy day at the office. Everything's crashing, everything's going wrong. I love it! I'm doing stuff, I'm fixing things, I'm having an impact and my work and intellect are making things better. Yay, I'm a winner.

I leave work kind of manic and decide tonight the bike gets fixed dammit. Out I go and disconnect the battery. Easy peasy. Hook the battery to the charger (after having to go buy tools, no metric sockets $150). Wow, it only took about thirty minutes to reach full charge. That's one hell of a charger!

I take the now charged battery back out to the bike and hook up. This requires a little more 'tongue out the side of the mouth' dexterity and some swear words but eventually the battery is mounted and I'm feeling good.

The key is in, lights look good. I mash the starter button. The EXACT same thing! WTF? I know I need to head in for the 750 mile break-in service, but they wouldn't cause the bike to fail to start due to late maintenance. I'm sitting there staring at the handlebars when I notice the kill switch on the right handlebar. Oh. The setting it's on has a little ghostbuster's line through it.

I mash the kill switch the other way and va-ROOM. One sweet sounding V-Twin waking up the neighbors (OK, it's like 7:30pm the neighbors are likely fine). So, now I feel idiotic again. $70 worth of battery charger, $150 in a socket set (well, if you're gonna get a socket, might as well buy a whole good quality set, right?) all because I forgot I'd shut the bike down with the kill switch instead of the key Sunday afternoon. And...I feel worthless again.

That therapist had better have something pretty damn good to say to me next week, 'cuz I do NOT like myself much right now.

Breaking the cycle

2007-08-13T21:56:00.000-05:00

Everyone always asks me, either question one or shortly thereafter; "So, how are you adjusting." Generally I give the same reply. "Eh, it's some changes, but I'm doing OK."

And honestly I am. Mostly.

But there are things that are giving me problems. Once I get home from work I'm lazy as hell. Typically I'll settle onto the couch, turn on the TV, fire up my laptop and watch televsion and surf the internet until I'm too hungry to avoid dinner any longer. So I'll cook something. Usually something pretty easy. Pasta and ragu sauce, burgers on the Foreman, microwave a couple hot dogs. Whatever. Eventually it's after 10pm and I'm starting to get tired for some inexplicable reason. So it's off to bed I go. I'll read for an hour or so, watch more TV, then eventually turn off the lights and try to sleep until my alarm goes off. The next morning starts this cycle all over again.

My house is a mess full of dirty clothes, I manage to dishes often enough to keep the place from smelling but there's usually a day or twos worth in the sink all the time. My motorcycle battery is dead, I really enjoyed going out and buying a new battery charger that now sits on the floor in my entry way, decidedly NOT charging my battery.

So I'm being not just lazy, but really monumentally lazy. A mountain of chores and tasks sit awaiting my attention. And I avoid them, procrastinate, and sink into self-loathing.

I don't usually post like this, I don't like admitting that I need help with anything. I guess I probably just need a kick in the ass, but I seem incapable of giving it to myself. I'm a couch potato with a dirty house, a dirty truck, and a motorcycle that won't start. So how do I break out of this? Where do I get my kick in the ass?

Welcome

2007-08-07T18:47:00.000-05:00

I've been keeping a blog on myspace for about a year and a half now. I'm going to try to import it over to here. How successful I'll be remains to be seen.

I'm a 38 year old National Guardsman. A citizen soldier, which is why I chose 'American Hoplite' as my name.

I'm a big aficionado of the classical period of history. I think I became interested in it back in 1996 when I read Steven Pressfield's excellent historical novel 'Gates of Fire'. If you haven't read this book yet, you really need to pick it up. It's an excellent and timeless insight into the minds and emotions of Soldiers.

I hope to put up entries of great import, or at least something interesting. Or at a minimum stuff that doesn't make me sound too moronic.

Thanks for reading thus far, and I'll see everyone in the cybersphere.

2007-07-17T11:11:00.000-05:00

I just don't understand men/women/martians
Current mood: good
Category: Romance and Relationships

Probably the most cliche'd concept in American society is the battle of the sexes, and our lack of ability to understand one another. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Women must follow 'The Rules' men should live by 'The Code'.

Here's the thing my friends. There IS no understanding of men or women in a larger general sense. You can't pigeonhole every man or woman together as a gender and hold them all accountable for the same type of behavior.

Men are dogs, women are manipulative. Bullshit. Allowing yourself to believe such a thing is going to perpetuate a cycle of loneliness and misery that you really don't want to indulge in.

No one is special, no one person is entitled, but each person is unique and should be judged individually without all the baggage one has acquired from past dealings with their gender.

If you're consistently being treated poorly or improperly by members of the opposite sex then I submit that the opposite sex might not be the problem. Look to your own behavior. Might be something there.

Well, thanks for reading my rant. If you're gonna disagree let's go ahead and get a comment war started. I know I'm right and am prepared to defend my position.

MTFBWY

2007-07-16T11:10:00.000-05:00

Vegas baby, the aftermath
Current mood: tired
Category: Life

Well, that was fast but alot of fun. Next time I think I'll try to stay for longer than two days. The craps tables at New York, New York were very generous, and I'm not really that good a player. Pretty conservative. But the thing with craps is you always go up at some point. I'd play for an hour or two, only risking about $200 and when I'd get up another hundred or so I'd say hey, I think I'm gonna go to the piano bar and grab a beer, or coyote ugly and watch the over rated bartenders be coy and attempt to be rude.

There was ALOT to see, and alot of being seen. I'm not Mr. Fashion, but I could tell I was out of place in my midwest cargo shorts, camp anaconda t-shirt, and new balance tennis shoes. So off to 'Fashion Show Mall' I went and thanks to some very nice sales girls at Macy's my craps table winnings went into some very nice brand name clothes. ($44 for a t-shirt?). But at least I know I looked good. I'm hoping women were staring because my arms and shoulders looked good in the tight t-shirt, not because I had something hanging from my nose.

I ate at the required NY NY eateries, Il Fornaio, Nine Fine Irishmen, and Starbucks. I wandered all OVER the strip. Unfortunately on my first night there my brain made a decision my feet couldn't back up. I walked about four miles up the strip from NY NY to Treasure Island in my flip flops. I've got blisters that would make a Ranger School student grimace.

After that I discovered 'The Deuce' which is a double decker bus going up and down the strip. Lots easier to sit on the second floor as the bus moves around and decide where you want to go next from there.

There will be another Vegas trip, and I will have more fun. But I think I slept maybe 4 hours the entire weekend, and one night of hard crashing at home has not yet helped me catch up.

So that's it in brief. Many little details I'm forgetting once more. I really need to take notes of all the odd little things that happen.

Oh yeah, I have a garage so the Ducati has a safe, dry place to sleep. And I promised the girls in the leasing office they could have a ride tomorrow.

Back to work on Wednesday, I'll let everyone know how that goes.

MTFBWY

2007-07-12T11:09:00.000-05:00

A warrior no more?

Let's be upfront here at the front. I was not some iconic, steely eyed, larger than life warrior with bronze cuirass, shield, and spear. I was an average to slightly below average example of the typical American combat soldier in Iraq. But even that was fulfilling in its own way.

Now I'm home, and with any luck won't be putting on the uniform bound for a combat zone anytime soon if ever again. Now that I'm safe, and comfortable, well fed, and showering indoors I'm of mixed emotions about this. Iraq was hot, dirty, uncomfortable, and very occasionally dangerous. But despite the complexity of the overall mission, we had clarity of purpose. Defend our position, find the bad guys, protect those under our care, and take care of our soldiers.

I love my regular civilian job. Problem solving, research, helping people utilize the technology available to maximize their productivity. I can't wait to get back to it, especially after a good meeting with my boss yesterday morning.

But I'm going to miss that clarity. The danger, the excitement, and the comradeship. I wonder if this is something all veterans experience. Or are most of them just happy to be home and that's the end of it?

Well, I need to get some laundry done, and maybe go buy some new clothes for the trip to Vegas tomorrow (alone, my date canceled on me).

Take care, and may the force be with you.

Murf

2007-07-04T11:08:00.000-05:00

Chapter 'the next'

Wherein our hero attempts to readjust, has some fun, spends alot of money, and has yet to kiss the pretty girl.

Today's July 4th. We've been home for a little over a week now.

I'm getting pretty good at driving around without poopin' myself everytime there's a bag or large chunk of trash alongside the road.

Fireworks are....interesting. During the daylight hours it's not really a big deal. Firecrackers don't really sound anything like small arms fire, so I thought it wouldn't be a big deal. Then I was standing outside last night with all the fireworks going off and that kind of got my attention a little bit. When I'm nervous or whatever I tend to put a wall directly to my back and get kind of hyper-vigilant. I was fine again as soon as I went inside. I wouldn't call it a disorder or anything, just a readjustment.

What else have I done with my time at home? My best friend Scott drove down from Chicago to hang out and kind of drive me around. He also brought me two kick-ass Motorola cell phones. It's funny about those friends you have from when you were young. We sat down and started talking and it was like no time had passed.

I've driven my motorcycle around quite a bit, and yesterday I went and invested in a 'passenger' helmet. It's not as fancy as the Arai that I wear over my bean, but it's still a good safe solid helmet. And it should fit over the pretty girl's heads when I start giving rides.

I also (brace yourselves) started the process to buy a house. I got my mortgage pre-approved for an excellent rate (way better than I thought I'd get with my checkered economic past) and no down payment and the payments while more than what I'm paying in rent aren't really all that bad.

I was planning on hanging out at the pool today, but it's 10:20 and I'm still kind of sitting in bed. I think I'm gonna go grab some starbucks and see what develops from there.

So many things I'm leaving out. My mom threw me a great homecoming party and I think everyone in Lincoln showed up. A very good buddy from Iraq now lives two doors down from me in my apt complex, another lives a couple miles away. So I've got friends in the neighborhood, which is very comforting.

I'll close this up for now and go try to enjoy my day.

Thanks all, and may the force be with you.

2007-06-27T11:05:00.000-05:00

What did it all mean?

I wrote this on my blackberry while on the bus from Wisconsin to our homecoming in Lincoln, NE.

We've been up all night, and we're too excited to sleep now. There are about 400 Harley Davidson's bracketing our convoy of busses. It's crazy.

I find myself, however, sitting and wondering what it all meant. The deployment, the danger, the depridation, the detachment. Did we make a difference? Sadly I think I have to say 'No'.

I've now served in two countries trying to recover from the effects of generations under totalitarian regimes. Much like slavery dictatorship can rob people of all that is best in them. Under totalitarianism men are robbed of industriousness, individuality and that spirit of sua sponte which is necessary to live in and grow a healthy culture.

Dictatorship oppresses, stifles, coddles, and eventually crushes the spirit of its citizenry. Until such time as the Iraqis discover self determination as a culture they will be lost to democracy and the benefits of western culture and economy.

They may yet discover these things for themselves. They can't be shown them. I doubt, though, that this is going to happen next year or even next generation. There exists too much culture inertia thanks to Saddam, the Ottoman Turks, and Islam, and not enough necessity to change them at this point.

But my time there is done and now I'm home. I doubt I'll be going back. The writing is on the wall and I fear our feeble efforts will probably be recorded as an overall failure in nation building.

I guess it's best not to dwell on the negatives. Instead I'm going to get on my motorcycle, talk to a pretty girl, and try to recover my own life.

Thanks for reading.

MTFBWY

2007-06-11T11:04:00.000-05:00

Here we go again...

20 Mar 2006

..> ..>

Here we go
Current mood: determined

"When a man seats before his eyes the bronze face of his helmet and steps off from the line of departure, he divides himself, as he divides his 'ticket' into two parts. One part he leaves behind. That part which takes delight in his children, which lifts his voice in chorus, which clasps his wife to him in the sweet darkness of their bed.

"That half of him, the best part, a man sets aside and leaves behind. He banishes from his heart all feelings of tenderness and mercy, all compassion and kindness, all thought or concept of the enemy as a man, a human being like himself. He marches into battle bearing only the second portion of himself, the baser measure, that half which knows slaughter and butchery and turns the blind eye to quarter. He could not fight at all if he did not do this."

-Stephen Pressfield Gates of Fire

"Looking darkly upon Hector, swift footed Achilles answered, 'I cannot forgive you. As there are no trustworthy oaths between men and lions, there can be no love between you and me. Before then to glut with his blood, Ares, the god who fights under the shield's guard. Now the time comes for you to be a spearman and a bold warrior. You will pay in a lump for all the sorrows of my companions you have killed in your spear's fury.'

-Homer The Illiad

Here we go. Pass time is over, weapons are back on our shoulders, and very soon it's off to war we go. I'll keep the photos coming as much as possible. Keep us in your thoughts and your hearts.

15 months ago we set out anxious to give a good account of ourselves, accomplish the missions set before us, and take care of each other.

It's been a long fifteen months. In August of last year we lost Sergeant First Class Jeff Hansen when his truck rolled into a canal. He was medevac'ed to Germany where he passed away a few days later, his family at his side. Less than a week after that while escorting a convoy from Tikrit to Balad the humvee driven by Sergeant Germaine Debro was struck by an IED. He was flown from the attack site to the hospital here on Anaconda . He died there while the rest of his team sorted out the chaos and completed their mission.

It was, I believe everyone's greatest wish to come home with all the soldiers we left with. Sadly, this won't be the case. Their memories will live on.

Fifteen long months enduring heat, cold, wet, and dry. It seems like everything imaginable fell from the sky on us. Rain, hail, sleet, mud, mortars, rockets, and who knows what else.

Well, the Cavalry is coming home. Lock up your daughters, your beer, and judging by the expressions on some of my comrades it might not be a bad idea to secure your livestock as well. It's mission accomplished for us. We'll see you all when the bar opens. First round is on me.

Garry Owen!

MTFBWY

2007-05-27T11:03:00.000-05:00

Movin' on out!

Time's flying by now! We're out of our old pods and living in temporary housing (open bay barracks again, but not for too long). Things are going well, and we should be on our way to the next step in our Oddyssey soon. Not real soon, or very soon, but soon.

Hope all's well with everyone back there! Stay in touch, and we'll see you all sometime next month!

MTFBWY

2007-05-20T11:01:00.000-05:00

Are we there yet?
Current mood: geeky

Einstein told us that as an object approaches the speed of light in relation to its starting point that time compresses, and the perception of the passage of time is lengthened for the object traveling at speeds approaching c.

Relativity also tells us that as an object approaches the speed of light it gains mass. So is the distorted time sense a product of mass itself? If so, does time pass at a different rate outside the gravity well of a planet or a star? Since mass creates gravity, and causes space to warp, does it also affect time and cause it to warp as well?

Does that mean that events that have a great deal of gravity (like us getting the hell out of here) also alter our perception of the passage of time as we approach these events?

I need to study some more physics. Maybe that'll tell me why it seems to take forever for events like Christmas mornings, dates with pretty girls, and plane rides out of a combat zone always seem to take longer to arrive than events like physical fitness tests, doctors visits, or performance evaluations at work.

Oh well.

MTFBWY

2007-05-18T11:01:00.000-05:00

Winding Down

The end is most definitely nigh.

Guys are selling off their TV sets, DVD players, refrigerators, microwaves, and other miscellania. We're also trying to sell our satellite system. If it goes for the price we want it's going to most likely be grabbed and sold right off. I'll try and put a last post out before I disconnect it all and pack it up.

Some of the guys and I are talking about going to a motorcycle 'rally' in Iowa at the end of June. We couldn't get hotel rooms, so we'll probably just spread bags out and camp.

After that I'll be packing up and heading to Vegas for a few days. I'm sure I'll spend some money at the tables, see a few shows (Monty Python's Spamalot is playing there somewhere, as well as Penn & Teller), and just relax by a pool.

Eventually I'll find myself back at my desk, going to Starbuck's every morning on the way to the office, and resetting people's passwords. That's going to be a mental gear shift that I'm honestly sort of nervous about.

I'm also planning to go back to school at Bellevue University. Their website is more than a little confusing, and a degree program that I had been interested in suddenly isn't on the curriculum any more, so I imagine I'll have to sit down with an advisor there and plot my course. I've got alot of education benefits that I can use up, so I might as well put in some work of my own and get something out of it.

Tomorrow is the dedication of an IED training area here on the base. I'll be acting as the master of ceremonies, and one of my buddies will take a few pictures for me. I'll post some as soon as it's all over. Now there will be both the Tricia Jameson Troop Medical Clinic and the Germain Debro IED Training Lane on this post. That's two facilities on this base alone named for Nebraska National Guardsmen. It's an honor certainly, but I'd still rather have DB coming home with us.

I've got my final blog entry from here already written, I'm just waiting for the time to be right to post it. When you see that, you'll know we'll be home soon!

Miss you all and see you soon.

MTFBWY

2007-05-12T10:59:00.000-05:00

Morals and ethics of a secular guy

As many people know I'm not a follower of organized religion, not very spiritual, and could probably best be described as agnostic or humanist.

I was asked during a discussion the other night from where I draw my morals if not from an organized faith. I responded that I'd made my own ethics/morality up based on my own life experiences.

Here they are:

My moral/ethical codes:

"And it harm none, do as you will." – The Wiccan Rede

Do your duty as you perceive it, don't shirk, don't whine.

Every day is a new day, every challenge a new opportunity to do the right thing. The right thing is typically to do the best work you possibly can. Don't despair yesterday's failures, look ahead to today's opportunities.

Smile at people.

Do not corrupt the innocent.

Punish the guilty.

Protect the weak.

Do or do not, there is no try.

Around the survivors a perimeter create.

Be brave.

Do SOMETHING, anything. Inaction can still lead to a solution, but if you don't participate in the process how will you know if it's the correct solution?

Make a sandwich and enjoy the sunset.

That's it. No other news to report right now. Every day gets us perceptibly closer to coming home. It's a happy thing, but man it's frustrating. Like a kid waiting for Christmas morning, we want to be on that big airplane right NOW! Oh well. See everyone soon.

MTFBWY

2007-05-07T11:03:00.000-05:00

Another entry about nothin'

We're sitting in temporary billeting now. Twenty-five guys sleeping elbow to elbow in a not very big room, all of us with too much time on our hands. It's amazing we haven't gotten ourselves in any real trouble yet. Those planes had better get here soon!

Nothing much earth-shattering to report. It's a long walk to the shower, the food in this chow hall isn't as good as the one on the other side where we used to live, and I'm trying (and failing) not to spend too much money at the PX in my boredom.

We have an internet connection available, but you have to walk about 3/4s of a mile to get to it, and that's kind of brutal in the heat of the day. We usually wait until after sunset to make our way over here. Definitely not as convenient as having one at your bedside like in our old hooches.

It's going to get kind of strange having both a bathroom, cable TV, internet, and a kitchen all in one place. Lots of things I'm sure I'm going to need readjusting to, but it's the little stuff that I can't even imagine right now that I'm certain will cause the most stumbles.

It's been interesting as well boiling everything I own down to few enough items to fit into a ruck sack, a duffle bag, and a carry-on backpack. I also have a pelican case for my laptop, but since I can't fit much in it besides my laptop I'm not sure it counts. Underwear and t-shirts become disposable in such circumstances. There's a towel, and a pair of desert boots that also aren't going to last past the final pack-out. Nothing like getting out of a combat zone to really make you evaluate which stuff is important. The answer seems to be 'not much'.

It'll probably be close to the end of June for our homecoming. Family and friends I'm sure have already been invited to my Mom's the following Saturday for BBQ and beer, and probably showing off the new motorcycle. I can't wait to bounce the nieces and nephew around a bit, and just sit around in shorts and a t-shirt.

Not much else to say right now. I just realized I hadn't posted in awhile, and thought that even no news would be good news. It has to be better than nothing at all, right?

2007-05-07T09:47:00.000-05:00

I want a lightsaber!

Yay, I have four days off from work in a row! Due to the extension we all get a four day pass in addition to our 15 day R&R leave. I elected to take my four day pass here rather than pack a bag and live in a tent in Qatar for four days.

I'm starting off my pass with a six movie Star Wars marathon. I've just decided that the one material possession I believe I would prize over any others is a lightsaber. Not one of these flashlights with the plastic tube, or a Hollywood replica. No, I mean a real functional lightsaber. How cool would that be?

Geez, I'm such a nerd.

I'm going to pack out a couple footlockers tomorrow. Then I may take a nap around two, followed by something tasty (or at least as tasty as is available here) for supper, then an extended nap later in the day.

I'm practicing for my first couple of weeks after I get home. I'll be sure to let everyone know how the relaxation goes.

MTFBWY

2007-05-04T09:46:00.000-05:00

Here it comes

Getting out of here a little early may actually mean we're getting out just in time! Oh, I don't mean heavy duty insurgent activity or anything like that. From what I can see things are relatively calm around here in that regard. No, I mean the dreaded Iraq summers.

Here's the weather underground page for Balad, Iraq. As you can see it's already getting up close to 120 by the end of the week. At least I work nights, so I don't have to be out in body armor anymore during the worst of it (I was on day shift last summer).

Of course we'll still have plenty of day time work to get done to get out of here on time, but we'll just drink water and muddle through like always.

See everyone soon!

MTFBWY

2007-05-02T09:45:00.000-05:00

Interesting News

I can't give out any real information yet, but I can say this.

Do not send any mail to me here in Iraq after May 15th. In fact probably better if no one sends me any more mail here from now on.

No word on exactly when we're out of here, but it's likely to be sooner than we had expected.

2007-05-02T09:44:00.000-05:00

Temptation you evil wench

Well, I have tonight off duty.

Every time I have a day off I always go buy a pizza to sort of celebrate. Today was no different. The little pizza hut (shack) is right next to the PX so I wandered in there while I was waiting on my pie (medium supreme with extra cheese). What should my weak-willed eyes behold? A shelf full of Playstation 3's. Only ten were left.

I wandered around, grabbed a movie, a magazine, some snacks and then wandered back by the shelf of PS3's. Only 5 were left. I am weak. I brought the number available down to four. It was $600, but I'm pretty sure I'll use it when I get home. The only problem is since my room is already overloaded on electronics (our satellite modem and all our network switches run from there) that as soon as I plugged in the PS3 before it was even powered on it kicked over my circuit breaker.

Well, maybe I can find a different circuit to run it on. No hurry, no worries. I can feel some stress evaporating already!

MTFBWY

2007-05-01T09:43:00.000-05:00

Things to do before one dies

Apparently there's a rather popular book making the rounds titled something like '1001 Places to see before you die'. There was also a credit card ad I happened across in a magazine listing some anonymous Joe's goals he wanted to accomplish in his life.

I thought it sounded like a fun topic, so I'm stealing guiltlessly and doing the same thing here.

In no particular order:

Finish a college degree

Ride a motorcycle across the US

See a sunset or sunrise from the Grand Canyon

Play in the World Series of Poker

Go hang-gliding at Kill Devil Hill's, NC

Run in a 10K race

Own my own home

Write a book (doesn't have to be published although that'd be nice)

Bench press 300

Swim 1600 meters

And lastly to spend as much time as I can reading good books and relaxing in the sun, and never getting blown up again.

There are probably 10,000 things I'm leaving out. I'm an ambitious guy. My dog tags say 'Jedi' under religious preference, but I don't really possess the quiet mentality necessary for serious reflection or meditation. Still, who doesn't like to sit beside the pool reading a good book and looking at pretty girls?

MTFBWY

2007-04-30T09:42:00.000-05:00

Our connection is restored!

Proving that I might still be worth my salary as a network administrator, once I get home, I have gotten our internet connection restored.

Friends and family members should shortly be inundated with e-mails, and skype calls.

Proving how dull life is, that's the biggest news to report. But at least I'm a hero again. I'd rather be well thought of by these few guys than by every show girl in Las Vegas.

2007-04-23T09:41:00.000-05:00

Quick update

Well, our internet woes continue. We're waiting on the company to ship us a replacement router/modem...and we keep waiting.

There are lights at the end of the tunnel though. We haven't been told yet exactly when we're leaving, but we know it's probably sometime in July. We're already starting to pack a few things up. Winter clothes, and other less necessary items are being boxed and put in shipping containers.

Life in general remains the same. Groundhog's Day Pt 380 something. We went over a year on the ground in Iraq earlier this month, right about the same time all the active duty units in theater found out they were being extended 3 months as well. Morale's better than could be expected despite this, but everyone (of course) is looking forward to getting home.

Well, I'm just hopping through the computer lab to post this, so I can't stay on very long. Please forgive all spelling and grammatical errors as I'm in a bit of a rush.

Be safe, and we'll be home as soon as we can be!

MTFBWY

2007-04-07T09:41:00.000-05:00

Lost our internet

Our satellite router cooked a circuit board, and is no longer functioning. We're sending it back to Poland in the hopes that they'll send us a replacement quickly, but it's likely to be a few weeks at least.

I'll try to get on here every 3 or 4 days to catch up, but won't be able to check e-mail and things daily as before.

Oh well, at least our time is running down...slowly but surely.

Be well everyone, and I'll keep in touch as best I can.

MTFBWY

2007-03-29T09:40:00.000-05:00

Writin' and stuff

As many people know I'm a frustrated writer. Like many people who actually make their living writing I'm also an avaricious reader. Some of my favorite days are the ones spent sitting on a couch at Barnes and Noble reading and people watching. I have an unfortunate habit of spending too much money there, but there are probably worse places to blow a paycheck.

There isn't much of a selection at the PX here, and I can only get so much stuff from amazon.com, so I end up reading alot of 'crappy science fiction' which is about the only thing they stock at the PX that I can really stand. I've discovered that alot of people getting paid to write aren't really very good. That's the bottom line.

So I thought I'd blog a little bit about what I understand to be the necessities of a good novel in any genre.

Number one is characterization. Now I've seen several people saying characters should be sympathetic to the audience. They should be flawed in some way so that readers can identify with them. One of my favorite authors Robert Heinlein didn't write flawed characters. He wrote about good, strong, capable people in adverse and unusual circumstances. I'm just trying to slog my way through a rather terrible book right now and the writer has just ham handed his way through some of his major characters. People who are supposed to be very successful in their career fields, so they must obviously be capable in some way or another, and yet they have these glaring character or personality flaws. Rampant dislike/distrust of authority, an almost aspberger's like inability to appreciate the social dynamic surrounding them, or just blatantly self-serving and dishonest. I think it was Anne Frank who said that despite alot of evidence to the contrary she still believed people were generally good at heart.

I look around at the people I know, family, friends, and comrades and I honestly believe this to be true. Oh some may have poor impulse control, they may take some odd joy in being manipulative, or have an inability to empathize, but generally they're good people. I firmly believe that every person I know has it in them to be a hero and not the goat. I think the vain, self-serving coward is probably much more rare than the person who's going to do the ring thing under adversity.

Dialogue. Many a newby writer's weakest point. I mean look at 'Star Wars', one of the greatest sci-fi/fantasy movies of all time. The dialogue is terrible. It was so bad that the actors still make fun of it to this day. Lucas researched characterization to a tee. He studied the fundamentals of mythological storytelling and captured these to create a character set in which everyone found someone to love and hate. But he never figured out how to make them speak. He was only saved by setting his universe 'A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away'.

I'm not very good at dialogue either, so I take notes. When I'm around the guys talking, and I hear something good I write it down, or try to remember it. I try to notice how people from different cultures speak, and carry themselves. I've got a ways to go, but I think just observing reality is going to help me there.

Another key is plot. Storyline. Arc. Or 'where the heck is he going with this thing, and why doesn't he hurry up and get there'? This is harder to do, and I think you actually need a story written up, and then be willing to have it savaged by your first readers in order to clean it up and move the plot along. A story doesn't need the entire Napoleonic wars as its backdrop like the Sharpe novels, Horatio Hornblower, or War and Peace. Michael Sharra wrote a great book whose title I can't currently remember, but it was made into a Kevin Costner movie called 'For the Love of the Game'. The entire story was a fading pitcher's very last game. A few flashbacks to what led him there to reveal more of his character, but mostly it followed this guy struggling to leave a mark in his chosen career in what he knew to be it's twilight. Amazing stuff!

Well, there's a few paragraphs about what I think about when I think about writing. A few of my favorite writers, John Scalzi and Stephen Pressfield both have books about writing, and their bottom line advice is to pick a story and start writing. The details will take care of themselves.

It's kinda hard to focus on writing right now in these circumstances, but maybe I too should just pick a story and start writing. Well, we'll have to see.

"A long time from now, in a galaxy that would look pretty familiar to most people holding this book in their hands there was this guy, and he had a problem..."

MTFBWY

2007-03-25T09:37:00.000-05:00

Where's my brain going?

I'm no genius, but generally I'm as bright or brighter than the average cat, but lately I just don't seem to have it as 'all-together' as I used to.

Truly nothing I do around here requires a great deal of mental agility. The Army drops the required intellect to perform most tasks to the lowest common denominator and that denominator is pretty low. Maybe it's just lack of utilization that makes me feel like I'm in some kind of mental fog. Or maybe it's the fact that I'm constantly having to take nyquil or benadryl in order to be able to sleep during the day.

I read another friends blog a couple days ago and he was lamenting that his writing skills seem to have fallen off, and that got me to thinking the same thing. So, I could just be experiencing hypochondria.

2007-03-21T09:36:00.000-05:00

Vegas baby, and other thoughts

On 'Entourage' whenever the guys need to take a break to perform a mental/emotional reset they always pack up and go to Vegas. This is probably why I've chosen to take a trip there myself. It's 1000 miles by motorcycle (no, I'm not going to get myself killed) through some beautiful country with an adult Disneyland as the payoff.

I've tentatively selected New York, New York as my hotel/casino of choice. They have an Irish pub, Coyote Ugly, and some of the most interesting scenery, it's right in the middle of the strip and I can get there off the interstate pretty easily. Now I'm just waiting around to find out when I can make my reservations, and see what kind of deal I can get (I'm splurging but I'm not going to toss money aside needlessly).

I'm still not adjusting well to the new sleep schedule. Some days I'll get like 3 hours, others I'll take NyQuil or something and crash out for like 14 hours between shifts. It's frustrating. Right now it's about 11:30. I have to go to work in like two and a half hours, I've gotten about four hours of sleep for the day and I'm not the least bit sleepy. I guess eventually I'll adapt...probably 3 or more months from now when we get relieved and I have to shift back to working days to pack everything up and get out of here.

Nights can still be kind of cold. Well, they seem cold when you're out in it with no heat or anything for eight hours. It's probably around 50 or so. Nothing that some long underwear and moving around a lot doesn't cure. If last year is any indicator then I imagine in another couple months I'll look back on 50 degree weather quite fondly.

Nothing noteworthy has happened on duty the last few days. Not much off duty either, really. As soon as I'm done typing this I'm gonna hop in the shower, and come back and do some room cleaning. I might as well get some advantage to this sleeplessness, right?

Hope everyone's well. We're still hanging in here, we'd be counting down days if we knew what day to count to. Oh well, by the time it gets hot we'll know we're close to coming home.

MTFBWY

2007-03-16T09:36:00.000-05:00

Minutiae

Instead of another boring old 'NSTR' (see previous blog entry) I'll delve into some minutiae.

Most days since we started working the entry control point are downright dull, and the last couple have certainly been no exception. But there are always some odd little details here or there that if I remember to sit down and blog right away are certainly more interesting than reading 'not much going on around here'.

The rainy season in Iraq is....well, it seems pretty fluid. I had thought it was over. I thought wrong.

My platoon and I got off duty at about 10:30 this morning and as soon as I had dumped my gear in my 'can' (slang for the little metal buildings we live in) I walked over to grab my laundry.

Last night's shift had been pretty cold, in fact due to my failure to dress for the occasion it was sort of miserable. But, this morning warmed up nicely, and the sun was shining bright with only a few clouds in the sky as I departed our 'pod' (the collection of cans where everyone in my unit lives). I even grabbed my sunglasses as I headed out the door.

It's less than a five minute walk to the KBR laundry building (a bunch of nice Filipina ladies sort through the chaos and mess of our laundry) and as I walked back I decided I also needed to hop by the PX for some sundries. The PX is another five minute walk in the other direction from the pod. At this point the sun is still shining brightly and still only a few clouds in the sky. The sky was lieing to me, baiting me in.

I was in the PX for less than 10 minutes (picked up the new Cycle World and a John Ringo book but I'm saving them to read on duty tonight) and on my way out I stopped by Green Beans which is a sort of low end Starbucks extent on alot of the bases over here. As I'm waiting for my triple latte' I notice everyone outside is starting to move a bit quicker, then I notice it seems to be raining a bit. Oh well, I'm not sweet and I won't melt. Out the door I go, and on the five minute walk back to the pod. I had failed to consider the Iraqi version of mud. Everything here is pretty much coated with a fine layer of dust, and when it rains that dust quickly congeals into foul mud that sticks to everything, and makes your shoes weigh three times their original. I had also failed to notice that it wasn't just rain but hail. So I was muddy and half beaten to death by the time I finished my five minute walk back to the pod. You just can't run with a triple latte' in one hand and a PX bag in the other.

We also got new beds yesterday. There was nothing wrong with my old bed, but I got a new one anyway. Actually I got two.

If you look on my friends list there you'll see 'Mathew'. He's the one right next to two other Matts. He was instrumental in helping me get the new bunkbed setup constructed in my room. More than instrumental actually, he did all the heavy work while I just kept saying 'thanks' over and over again. He's a hell raiser, but also a hell of a good guy. And I still need to fix his computer for him.

So there's a couple things more significant than 'NSTR'. I know they're not terribly exciting, but I'm sure everyone would rather know that my biggest struggles are with sudden rainstorms and awkward furniture rather than IEDs and angry insurgents.

Hope all is well back home. I'll be back as soon as I can.

MTFBWY

2007-03-13T09:34:00.000-05:00

Well, that was less than fun

We got blown up a couple weeks ago. I told the guys in my crew I wouldn't write about it until they'd had a chance to talk to their families, and let them know they were OK.

It was my last patrol, and a brand new truck. The double whammy. We were the third truck in line, and somehow still managed to roll over a crappy little anti-tank mine. It was a pretty weak little IED. Kinda messed up the truck, and rung our bells for a couple minutes, but other than that no big deal.

Everyone in the crew was fine, and we were all back on duty the next day. Of course we had to go to the hospital for screening when we got in from that mission. It was really kinda funny. By the time we got into the clinic to get evaluated it was after 10pm, and we'd been on the go since 4am so we were all pretty much exhausted. Part of the evaluation are these tests to determine possible brain injury. Memory tests and that kind of thing. We didn't do so well on those just because we were so exhausted, so we had to go back and take them again the next day. We did fine, no worries. I was kinda sore and had kinda black eyes the next day also.

Now I'm back on duty at the gate. The night shift. I'm having a little bit of trouble adjusting to the new sleep schedule, but I'm sure that'll work itself out in another week or so. Nothing like caffeinne and sugar to keep me going until then.

Still no word on when we'll be done here. Lots of rumors that we'll be relieved by this unit or that one, we'll get home this date or another one, but nothing official. Just like getting extended I'll bet our families will know before we do.

I'm enclosing a picture of my truck right after the blast. They even managed to get it all fixed up again, and it's back on the road with someone else now.

The truck commander (me) sits in the passenger's side front seat, so that sucker went off right under my feet. It honestly wasn't as dramatic as the picture makes it look though.

Hope everyone's doing well back home. Spring is in the air, and it's starting to warm up pretty fast, hope the same is true back there. I'll try bein' more careful and I'll see everyone when I get home.

MTFBWY

2007-03-06T09:34:00.000-06:00

Random Stuff

This whole Walter Reed 'scandal' is sure taking the focus away from Anna Nicole. I just wish it wasn't giving the army such a (well deserved) black eye. It's heartening to see the SECDEF handling it so well. Ya' gotta like how he didn't take any bullshit from the 'establishment'. Go Mr. Gates! Now that we've fixed some blame and fired some people let's fix the problem. In the end that's what really matters.

So I've been around on the web looking for motorcycle gear. I found plenty of great sites reviewing various motorcycles, but not much information covering the quality of protective gear. I'm thinking of staring a website devoted to this after I get home. Start off with reviews of the gear myself and my friends use, and see where I can go from there.

Another thing I found while out surfing around for potential purchases is the 'ultimate online wish-list'. Our family has gotten alot of mileage out of the amazon.com wish lists in the past, and you can find ALMOST everything at amazon if you look hard enough. But sometimes other websites have better details or prices on an item. Well with MetaWishList you can tag stuff from anywhere you like. For example here's mine. Just another handy tool to keep track of future purchases, or keep folks apprised of stuff you'd find useful at christmas or birthdays.

I'm all done patrolling. Back to the nice, quiet, but dull ECP. I'm doing some training for the next few days, so I'll be on a regular day work type schedule, then I'll start overnights. Still no word on exactly when we'll be outta here. I don't imagine we'll be home for independence day, but I wouldn't think we'll still be here by the end of that month either.

Hope everyone back home is doing well. Looks like the snow's melting off, and a Nebraska spring is right around the corner (the groundhog either saw or didn't see his shadow...whichever one means an early spring, I forget). We'll see ya'll this summer!

MTFBWY

2007-03-04T09:31:00.000-06:00

Readjustment?

One of the best things about the military is the sense of community. Especially in this kind of environment. Everyone here is experiencing some (no matter how minute) element of danger, everyone is working together (not without a few problems here and there of course) toward a common goal, and most everyone wears the same clothes to 'the office' every day.

Yesterday I went over to the PX because I was feeling like I needed a new movie, and a case of soda. I know the chow hall has free sodas there, but the PX has good old shipped in from America stuff, whereas the stuff at the chow hall is local stuff that's brought up from Kuwait and Dubai. We call it 'hajji soda' and it just doesn't taste right.

While wandering up the DVD aisle I bumped into a tall, young, black soldier. We both right away piped up "Hey, sorry man." Which was immediately followed by "No problem." And we smiled at eachother. Outside the Army this guy and I probably have nothing in common. I'm sure if he looked on my iPod he'd not find much he liked to listen to, my books and movies would probably seem weird. But we're both Soldiers and that cements a pretty deep bond.

Back home if someone bumped into me in the DVD aisle they'd probably walk away without saying a thing, or breaking their conversation on their cell phone. And I'd probably get pissed off about it.

Readjusting to life back home whenever we're done here should be interesting.

I'm back on the ECP now, been working there for about four days. It's dull, but the days kind of start to flow together, and time's going by pretty quickly. Still no word on when we might be home, but I mailed the Ducati dealership and asked them to have the bike ready for me by July 1st. Just in case we're back a bit early.

Hope everyone's doing well. Sounds like Nebraska got alot of snow dumped on them in the last few days. The high today is 72 degrees and sunny. Tomorrow it's supposed to get up into the 80's. Pretty soon the base pool will open up, and I may even find time to get over there this season.

Keep in touch, and we'll be home as soon as we can.

MTFBWY

2007-02-26T09:30:00.000-06:00

Crappy Day
Current mood: crappy

I'm blue for no particular reason. I'm gonna go play basketball for a couple hours, 'cause getting my ass kicked there will certainly help my self-esteem, which will in turn elevate my mood.

I really need to take laundry in in the morning. My dirty clothes bag sits on the floor and mocks me. It's an evil thing.

Do you think if one drinks enough Mt Dew Pepsi will give you shares in the company?

After passing out mail today I'm fairly certain that Bravo Troop (my unit) is a significant statistic in amazon.com's balance sheet.

Is there anything else of importance going on in the world besides the aftermath of Anna Nicole Smith? CNN needs new feeders.

Is it July yet?

2007-02-24T09:26:00.000-06:00

Busy few days
Current mood: melancholy

Well, it's been a hectic last few days, that's for certain.

A month or two before we moved in to our present quarters the area wherein they're located had flooded. We weren't aware of it at the time, but the floorboards in several of the trailers (including mine) had rotted out. A few weeks after we moved in the floorboards between the joists collapsed, and I found myself walking through hills and valleys just to reach the door from my bed. It took a few months to get the base housing office to even look at the problem, and by that time I had thought we were only a few months from leaving, so I told them not to bother with it. Well, once the extension went through I decided to have it fixed after all. Yesterday was the day. The process involved removing everything from my room, and sitting out all day while workmen installed a new floor. The end of this process yesterday afternoon found me sunburned and exhausted, but happy with my new level floor.

I seem to have lost the battle regarding the combat infantryman's badge. It turns out that even though I have been serving in the mortar section of our unit in an infantry MOS (military occupational specialty) for the duration of our activation this was not the case. On paper I still held the cavalry scout MOS. So when my unit needed me to be a mortarman for live fires etc. I was given all the responsibilities of that MOS, but when it came to collecting the reward (the Combat Infantryman's Badge, or CIB) they decided I was a scout. Typical Army bullshit. They'll give you the worst deal possible as long as it makes someone else look good. The problem is the paperwork all lines up supporting their position, arcane though it may be it's correct. The spirit of the regulation would indicate that I should be awarded the combat infantryman's badge vice the combat action badge, but the letter of the regulation says differently. This has me in a bit of a funk.

Only a few more days patrolling, and I'll be back on the entry control point. This also has me in a funk as I've really enjoyed the variety and responsibilities of this mission and don't look forward to the more static and highly structured and supervised environment on the ECP.

I got a package from the folks at Arbor Day today. It was kinda neat since while watching AFN last night I saw a commercial for the Arbor Day Foundation. It puts a smile on my face, but makes me a bit homesick as well.

Hope everyone's well. No word yet on when we'll be going home, but I'm keeping a weather eye on events. I'll want to be able to give the motorcycle dealership some idea of when they should have my bike ready for delivery. I'll let everyone know as much as I'm allowed to say as soon as I'm allowed to say it.

MTFBWY

2007-02-16T09:19:00.000-06:00

How can anyone be expected to go to school on a day like this?

Mindful of the fact that it's icy, rainy, and about three degrees below zero back home in Nebraska I must say that the weather here in Iraq has been great! Sunny, mild breezes, highs in the mid-60s, cool comfortable nights. It's amazing the effect the weather has on one's mood. Our time out on patrols is coming to an end, we're already working with the platoon that's going to replace us, and then it'll be back to the boring old entry control point. But I've had my fun out here. It would have been a shame to be sixteen months in Iraq and never see anything but the base, or one dark and horrific night on a two lane highway in northern Iraq.

A few days ago we dropped off some school supplies at some of the smaller villages just outside our base. We got mobbed by kids begging for stuff, and believe me these kids can beg. It's kinda cute at first, then it gets frustrating, and then offensive. A couple kids brought a dog out because they thought we'd want to trade something for it. We're not allowed to have dogs, so we couldn't trade with them. The problem was they were really just beating the hell out of this dog. Carrying him around by the leash with a neck collar. Eventually they ended up killing the little guy, but I don't think they realized it. As we were packing up and leaving the village I saw them 'walking' the poor little guy away, dragging him along the ground, his little legs motionless underneath him. That's an image I'm not going to get out of my head for awhile.

My new computer got here, and I've been having a grand time getting everything transferred from my old one onto this one. But job's done now, and it's a blast. This thing is HUGE! The screen on it is almost bigger than the screen on the TV in my room. It's fast as heck, and photos and graphics look fabulous. So, mad money well spent.

So, to sum up...weather improving. Iraqi kids suck. New laptop good. And had we not gotten extended we'd be packing stuff up and training our replacements.

Be safe everyone, hope the weather back home improves soon.

MTFBWY

2007-02-06T09:16:00.000-06:00

Out on Patrol

Patrols in Iraq are definitely more interesting than sitting on an entry control point for eight hours a day, but even with the differing scenery, towns, people, and times of day it can still get dull. One of the ways we keep awake and stay focused is to sort of rip on eachother. I get picked on alot for my choice of 'hairstyle'. Which is to say they give me a hard time for being bald.

Every now and then we take along personnel who are assigned to the entry control point as a sort of 'ride-along'. Let them see a bit more of Iraq than just Camp Anaconda. Tonight we had a Sergeant from the New Jersey unit riding along with us. This particular Sergeant is 55 years old. He's from North New Jersey, and of Puerto Rican descent. He speaks english with a very heavy accent, and it's hard for some people to understand him. But once you're used to him it's really no problem at all.

Well, just as we're pulling out of the gate my driver delivers one of the best rips I've ever heard. So timely, so accurate. "So, Sergeant P., how is this different from patrolling on wooly mammoths back when you first joined the cave army?"

Morale is better than most people would expect. Don't get me wrong, most of the guys would rather be on the way home right now, but we want to do our duty as well. Mostly we just don't want to let down or appear weak in front of our peers. That's a pretty big motivation for a soldier. It'll make them do all kinds of things they wouldn't think they could accomplish otherwise. Go here to see just how far some men will go when motivated by the sense of duty to one's comrades.

Still waiting on my computer, but I'm told by very reliable sources (Hi Mom) that it's been sent and is even now winging its way to lovely Iraq.

Hope everyone at home is well. I know it doesn't feel like it in Nebraska right now (-1 for the high?) but summer's just around the corner and we'll be back soon.

MTFBWY

2007-02-03T09:18:00.000-06:00

Groundhog's Day

So yesterday was February 2nd. Groundhog's Day. We've often correlated life here with Bill Murray's same-day over and over again existence in the movie (AFN played it last night).

Fortunately since I've moved over to patrolling the Groundhog's Day syndrome has gone away. Every day is a little different. The challenges and chores are similar, but we do something a little bit different every day.

We had our physical fitness test a couple weeks ago, and while most everyone passed the results were less than stellar. So we started doing 'organized physical training' every other day. A different Sergeant will come up with a PT plan for that day and off we go. Usually it's pretty heavy on the basics, push-ups, abdominal workouts, and running. Yesterday one of my buddies was charged with leading PT. He's a straightforward, uncomplicated and very physically tough guy and he decided we should run. We'd done alot of push-up and abdominal work the last two sessions so his PT was going to be all about running. So....we ran for four miles. I haven't run that far in like forever. We went a little over three a few times at Camp Shelby during training, and managed to get by with it, but honestly I was in alot better shape then. Oddly enough I did way better on our little four mile run than I thought I would. I didn't really stop to walk very often (twice both for very short time periods) and finished in about the middle of the pack, well ahead of several of our 20 something soldiers who seemingly didn't feel like putting out.

So the old man still has it. I'm tougher than I thought I was.

Hope everyone back home is doing well. Miss you all.

MTFBWY

2007-01-29T10:58:00.000-06:00

Random rambling
Current mood: chipper

Almost the end of January. Again with counting down days on the calendar. Valentine's day is fast approaching, and unfortunately Uncle Sugar took away the present most of the guys in my unit had been counting on being able to give our loved ones...namely getting our narrow asses out of a combat zone.

A quick word about operational security. Succinctly operational security is the concept covering the measures taken to protect information which might prove harmful to us were the enemy to come into possession of it. Here are wikipedia's and Defend America's articles regarding operational security.

Operational security is why occasionally some of my blogs seem to lack color or detail, and why I can't discuss precisely or sometimes even vaguely what I do on a particular day. It hamstrings me a bit, but since it's my ass and those of my crew and my platoon on the line I am not about to discuss things which could be used by a potential adversary to do us harm. I'm sorry if that means that things aren't always as interesting as they could be, but better safe than blown up.

No longer about OPSEC

Now that I've accepted our extension, and my leave is well over with I'm getting back into a groove. I'll admit I was suffering from some blues and anger over the situation that I kind of had to battle back against. Well, I won and I'm back on my feet.

This resurgence of the cheery funny me has manifested itself oddly in my case. I've gotten on an organization/cleanliness/fitness regimen. My room still isn't spotless, but it isn't the frightening cave it was shortly after I got back here from leave. Instead of collapsing on my bed, or spending hours surfing the internet after missions I've made time to get into the gym and get into some good hard Stew Smith and crossfit style working out. Also my battle buddy Nick has been on my case to start running again, and today made me go out and do two miles on the somewhat worn out new balance sneakers. That's OK, more are on order from amazon as we speak.

Speaking of amazon feel free to check out my amazon wish list. Most of it is just fluffy feel good stuff, or some things I set aside for myself to remind me to buy when I get home, but some things like the pull-up tower would really be handy over here. Y'see Anaconda has a pretty well equipped gym for the most part, but there are literally two pull up bars in the whole place and they're both stuck between the cross cable pull stations so it's always a contest or a chore to get in and do pull-ups. I like to do pull-ups. I'd like to be able to do alot more. I honestly don't think it's possible that such an item could be shipped over here, but there are some wonderful creative people out there who read my blog, so maybe something nice could happen.

Nothing new on the home robbery front. It's not really that big a deal though, just stuff. It was insured, and while I'm out the cost of my deductable it's not going to sting that much. Crazily enough they didn't get a really nice watch I had sitting on my bedside table (inside of which were my guns) or a leather Ducati motorcycle jacket that cost almost as much as the competition glock pistol they stole. I guess if you're going to be robbed it's best it were done by dumb and/or lazy criminals. Still, if I get their hands on them they'll be briefly sadly and then in enduring pain.

As I type this I'm doing some Valentine's day shopping, and listening to iTunes. It's almost 10pm but we have a late start tomorrow so I can afford to stay up for awhile. That and I just drank a soda an hour ago so it's going to take awhile for the caffeinne to burn off. I'm also playing with a new photo printer I just bought since someone requested I send them some photos she could get her hands on. Well, I'm working on it. Just trying to pick some photos out. I'm terrible at that. I'm a good photographer and a horrible model.

Hope everyone at home is safe and warm. We're doing OK over here, and multiple news reports to the contrary aren't experiencing any kind of surge in enemy activity. This makes patrols kind of dull, but keeps the loved ones happy.

Take care, and I'll write again soon.

MTFBWY

2007-01-22T09:14:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was a grumpy making day

It didn't start off well, the weather was rainy and nasty. We had a patrol, and the roads can get pretty hairy when the weather is bad.

Then I got an e-mail from my mom. Some asshole broke into my house and stole a whole bunch of stuff. Some guns, some change, and my remote control helicopter. Beyond that I can't be sure exactly WHAT was taken since I'm not home to be able to do any kind of inventory. So that had me REALLY po'd.

Then I saw a notification that there had been a helicopter crash south of here in which 13 Soldiers were killed. A good friend of mine is stationed a FOB near the crash location, and was due back from leave yesterday. Now there are literally hundreds of helicopter flights around here every day, and the odds that my friend was on that bird were slim, but ya' still can't help but worry, y'know?

Then just to make the morning perfect the showers were locked up for some reason no one was able to explain.

Well, today is a new day. I heard from my friend and she's fine. The showers are back on, and an annoying problem with the gun turret on my truck has been fixed for the moment. And myself and my electrician buddy from Fremont climbed up and fixed our satellite system.

My apartment being broken into and my stuff stolen still has me kinda ticked, and kinda sad. But I have insurance, apparently they were dumb enough both to steal registered firearms and to leave fingerprints, and when we get home in July I think myself and some battle hardened buddies may just track them down and have a brief discussion about why stealing from Soldiers is a bad idea.

Not much else new and interesting to report right now. Take care all, I'll keep my head up (and on a swivel), and we'll be home...eventually.

MTFBWY

2007-01-18T09:13:00.000-06:00

Now with pictures

Changing over to patrols from the ECP has been a good time. Still long hours, and crappy weather (mostly) but with different goals, and a different work environment it's been making the time go by a little more quickly.

Here's some photos of life on patrol in Iraq...

This is my office

My mom sent some action figures along to relieve us so we could go home. Since they won't let us leave we put them up in our gun turrets as reinforcements.

Prepping for patrol. This is when we sergeants walk around going 'Do you have everything you're supposed to have, and does it have new batteries?'

If you're going to roll into combat, it's best to do it well prepared. How could you be better prepared than with a nice hot ultimate sized cafe' latte'. This is how you go to war.

Uh-oh, we had to stop out in the middle of nowhere, what's going on?

Oh, someone had to get rid of their latte'.

Hope those were well enjoyed. Not much more to add right now. Take care, and see ya'll soon.

MTFBWY

2007-01-17T09:12:00.000-06:00

Here we are; born to be kings; we’re the princes of the universe
Current mood: determined

Thus begins one of my all time favorite songs, by Queen from the soundtrack to the movie 'Highlander'.

It feels like that sometimes, being a soldier. You're out amongst a population of people many of whom are violently hostile toward you, but you're wrapped in an armored vehicle, wearing sixty pounds of armor plate, carrying deadly weapons with which you're more than proficient, and you have a group of buddies right next to you who will endanger their own lives to keep you from trouble and vice versa.

Now that our extension is effective most of us have come to terms with it, and have found the positives (although persons are encouraged to write their congress-critters and have them vote us a sizeable monetary bonus). I worry more for our families who are still worried for us. I'm afraid that they some how think we're going to come back from this changed mentally and emotionally beyond recognition from the people we were when we left. It's my observation that this couldn't be further from the truth.

While I was home on leave people would occasionally ask me "So how is it over there?"

If they were veterans I'd give them some details and specifics, but no matter who they were I'd always answer "There are good days and bad days, but mostly just long boring days."

A well known military cliché' is that war is long periods of tedious frustration punctuated by moments of intense fear, and elation. I've come to realize that most of the time when something about which you SHOULD be afraid is happening around you, you're usually too busy dealing with it to even realize you're afraid. After the situation is resolved, and normally resolved in such a way that you realize you were foolish to ever be afraid in the first place, is the period of elation. Also short lived. But nothing about what we're seeing and experiencing over here is likely to make us into people who are fundamentally different than we were before we left.

Certainly our fathers had it far worse in Vietnam, and our grandfathers suffered and fought through horrific conditions in the second world war and Korea. My great-uncle (my grandfather's brother) Leonard Ulrich was a radio operator with the 734th Tank Destroyer battalion on 6 June 1944. They were on one of the very first waves ashore on Omaha Beach. He died that morning communicating with following waves out on the water, insuring they would be able to more effectively place their troops. On that single day they suffered casualties in numbers and horror that dwarf anything that happens over here.

Our enemies are cowardly, poorly motivated, poorly led, and poorly supplied. Their one advantage is the ability to melt into the local population and hide there, rendering nearly impossible our attempts to bring them to the fight. This is frustrating, but when we ARE able to engage them directly that's where the elation comes in. Anti-Iraqi forces have NEVER won a gun battle against US forces, and I predict they never will. The roadside bombs are bad news, and we do what we can to protect ourselves, but beyond that you just drive and don't worry. But we're always hoping they're going to pop up and start shooting at us. Because then we know we can win. Why? We're the princes of the universe. "I have no rival, no man can be my equal!"

Six more months and we're on the way home. At least it'll be summertime. The pool at my apartment complex should be jumping, I'll have 30 days of leave, and a brand new Italian motorcycle just begging to have its wheels ridden off. Plus quite a bit of cash in my pocket.

So don't feel down for us. We'd rather be home, but we're also ready for another opportunity to take the fight to the enemy. So bring it Muji, me and my guys are coming home on our feet, and we'll see you in hell.

MTFBWY

2007-01-14T23:27:00.000-06:00

Well, it's official
Current mood: crappy

We had a formation tonight and our commander informed us that the extension order had finally come down and we are oficially extended for 125 days. We're staying in place here, so everyone back home keep your blood pressure down, I'm not going to Baghdad to kick down doors.

I did get moved off the ECP to the patrol element for a few weeks. This was something I was expecting, and doesn't really elevate the danger level all that much, but it is more interesting than sitting in one place staring at your buddy and watching him either sweat or shiver depending on the weather.

I got some neat pictures yesterday, and I'll be editing and posting them in another blog entry in the next few days.

I know some folks are disappointed that I won't be home as soon as expected. I'm one of them. But I'm still proud to be over here doing my duty and taking care of my guys. Oh yeah, I bought a brand new high end Dell laptop to quell my hard feelings.

Take care all, and may the force be with you.

SSG Murf

2007-01-12T23:26:00.000-06:00

Rumor control

Rumors are very powerful in a military organization.

My brigade has a whole web page devoted to combatting rumors which can be viewed here.

The latest rumor that's been making the rounds is that the brigade to which I'm attached is being extended in Iraq for 120+ days. Everything I'm seeing from 'unofficial' channels, that is news media and officers not in my direct chain of command, indicates that the extension is a done deal and we'll be here until July.

If I were a gambling man (and I am) I would bet that these rumors turn out to be true.

An important fact though is that we've received NO official notification yet. Our orders to redeploy on time had already been approved when this rumor started to make its rounds in the news media, and as of yet no orders extending our tour have come down. That's not to say that they won't, it's very likely that the process of writing and pushing those orders down is taking a little time. Troop movements of this size are large and complex endeavors and the lag between announcement of intent and the delivery of specific orders could take time.

I'm still hoping to redeploy home on time, but at this point I'm not counting on it, and most of us have already accepted the fact that we will probably be over here until summer. On the plus side I think about how much more money I'll be able to save. Perhaps enough to just pay cash for my new Ducati.

I've already contacted the dealership that they may have to delay delivery and I'm waiting to hear back from them.

So long story short, we may be staying a bit longer. We're a little bummed out about it, but we're disciplined and capable soldiers and we'll do what's expected of us to the best of our ability. If we DO end up being extended I'm not going to attend any schools, and will instead return home with the rest of my unit.

As soon as we receive official word I'll let everyone know. I miss you all, and I'll be home as soon as I can.

MTFBWY....always

2007-01-09T23:26:00.000-06:00

Plane Crash

Well, yesterday was a bit hectic. A Russian aircraft full of Turkish contractors crashed right outside our base. The last numbers I heard were 35 dead, one survivor badly injured. I wasn't involved in this in any way except to hear alot of discussion on the radio.

Nothing else too exciting going on. We have to take a physical fitness test tomorrow morning. We're hoping for good weather. It's been raining alot, and the whole base has turned into a big muddy swamp. The forecast says it's going to be nice, so we're keeping our fingers crossed.

I've been procrastinating on laundry, and I've GOT to get some taken in in the next couple days or I'll run out of underwear!

Sorry this one isn't particularly fun or interesting. Be well, and we'll be home soon.

MTFBWY

2007-01-04T23:25:00.000-06:00

Welcome back to Iraq

Well, I can't give out dates or anything like that but we're definitely on the downhill side of our visit here, and accelerating to the end.

It was SO nice to get back here after two weeks of R&R at home. Let me describe a couple of my experiences that were real 'welcome back' moments.

Alot of IEDs and other explosive ordnance are found before they detonate. They're transported safely and detonated in a controlled manner where they can't hurt anyone. But detonating things are loud, and the word about when they'll be detonated doesn't always get put out. It's always fun being awoken early in the morning or if you're a soldier suffering from jet-lag being awoken from an afternoon nap by several explosions which shake your living box and literally rattle the fillings in your teeth. After five or six of these you finally here the sirens and the public address system announcing the controlled detonations are complete. Not gonna miss that...

As I said in my previous blog entry the movement here was quick, without much pause at any one location, but lots of time on airplanes. All in all it was about forty hours between taking a shower and shaving at home and being able to settle down and do the same thing here. So I was really looking forward to a hot shower. I did my research by asking my buddies which shower trailers had hot water lately, and waiting until I knew the showers wouldn't be too busy. Of course my efforts were for naught.

We have these trailers with about 12 shower stalls, sinks and mirrors in each. Each trailer has two large water heaters which should theoretically provide plenty of hot water. However all the water feeds down the same line. So there I am, enjoying a nice hot shower. Somehow I didn't hear the other soldiers walk in and turn on their showers at the same time. My first clue to this was the blast of ice (not cold water, it literally felt like being hit with ice) pummeling me from the shower head, and I'm pretty sure I screeched like an angry chimpanzee.

My platoon sergeant (who's a pretty good guy, and a friend back home) had a heart when he saw I hadn't slept at all the day I got back and gave me the next day off. But he still has responsibilities to meet too, so I was back on duty yesterday.

It's cold in the mornings here, but warmed up to about 65 in the afternoon. I of course was dressed in my thermal under-armours and was roasting when I had to go out on the lane in my body armor and try to drill some big signs into concrete barriers. Of course the drill, the drill bits, the screws, and the anchors were none of them designed for the task, and we had to push, grunt, swear and improvise. We managed to get two of the signs up. Then backed up and re-planned and we'll finish that little task up today. But that's typical of Iraq. Some stupid little job that is probably important but seems trivial. And it has to be done with the wrong equipment by people not really trained for it in a short amount of time.

I hope that doesn't sound like I'm bitter. I'm sure the story reflected above has more to do with us being National Guard than the military effort here in general. The Guard is a bit different. Special in a way. Most of us have whole separate careers for which we're well trained and qualified. This means that we usually expect to just take these little jobs and run with them rather than bothering with the rigamarole official channels necessitate. When it's something we can do like in my case setting up computers or writing a news release it all comes together well. When it's something we can't do like in my case drilling holes in concrete and mounting signs it can be sort of frustrating. But we're a 'can do' organization and when someone says something needs to be done we look for ways to do it rather than reasons not to.

Well, it's almost six AM here. I'm going to see what the shower situation is like.

Love and miss you all, only a few more months to go.

MTFBWY

2007-01-02T23:24:00.000-06:00

Just the facts
Current mood: tired

I'm back in Iraq. That happened fast! Yes, I was on airplanes forever, but unlike the trip home from here the trip back went very quickly. It seemed to be raining and crappy everywhere, and our plane in Chicago broke down, but they quickly put us all on another flight and we left only about two hours later than originally scheduled. I arrived in Atlanta, checked in and had about two hours in which to catch something to eat and call friends and family (Hi Mom, Dad, Joy and Tamara) before the plane took off.

The flight crew from Atlanta to Germany were very nice. Just as we were passing over Newfoundland they passed out apple juice (no drinking allowed...sigh) and we had a new year's toast. We landed at the former Hahn air base in Germany, and there were little sandwich stands and a duty free shop to spend money in while we waited for our plane to be refueled. Two hours after landing we were back in the air.

I landed in Kuwait and got through our various briefings just in time to run over to the morale tent and watch Nebraska lose to Auburn (big frown face). I sent out a quick e-mail over the world's slowest internet connection then grabbed a few hours of sleep and we were on our way again by 6am. I arrived here in Iraq around lunchtime today. Like I said...fast.

To all my friends and family with whom I discussed timelines regarding our return it looks like I was right on. Only a couple more months here. Instead of my first training evolution being in Ashland it's now going to be back at Camp Shelby, Mississippi. After that it's over to Montana for a couple of weeks, but I'll still be all done and arriving home for good at about the same time.

I had a great time home on leave. It was kind of like being a rock star. People would just come up to me in the airport while in uniform or bars and stuff and thank me for my service, and buy me a drink, or just pat me on the back. In a way it was sort of difficult as I'm not really comfortable being in the center of the spotlight. I don't mind being recognized for having done something, but I honestly don't feel like I deserved all the attention I was getting. The free beers were nice though.

Nothing much has changed here, except it looks like I'll be finishing out my tour quietly on the entry control point. Not much glory, but not much physical danger either. And all I really want now is to get all my guys and myself home in one piece and let us go on and enjoy our lives.

So to sum up; I've arrived safe and sound, not much longer to go, not much danger to worry about, and I had a great time on leave.

Thanks to all, and I'll see everyone again soon.

2006-12-21T23:23:00.000-06:00

Quickie from home

Unfortunately I have no internet access at my apartment right now despite many attempts to hack into the wireless routers in my building. Instead I'm typing this entry from my neighborhood Starbucks (doesn't every neighborhood have a Starbucks?).

As you can see from my profile picture I went in to visit the guys at Ducati Omaha a couple days ago. They could not have been a better bunch of dudes. And they all ride the bikes they sell, and are really into it. I got to meet the sales manager (well duh, that's the guy I handed the check to), the service manager, the owner, a couple of their club racers and their shop dog Cedric.

They had a demo bike available in the model I want (it's the one I'm sitting on) but it's actually already been sold to a guy. I was still offered the chance to ride it around but I haven't been on a bike in awhile and I didn't want to crack up this guy's ride. I'll take that chance with my own bike, but not a fellow ducatisti.

On a slight down note the red paint scheme isn't currently available in North America, so I had to settle for the brushed titanium color. Jim (the sales manager) placed the order asking for red if at all possible, but it doesn't seem likely. The shop was great, and they're expanding soon for more display area for both bikes and apparel.

Bottom line, if you're in the market for a new motorcycle and don't want to be on the same thing that everyone else is riding then look these guys up at Ducati Omaha. Tell 'em Jeff sent ya'.

Well, I'm off to finish Christmas shopping. I no longer feel awkward with cartfulls of princess barbie stuff, since my nieces are just the most adorable kids in the world and if someone has an issue with that, well....good luck to 'em.

2006-12-20T23:22:00.000-06:00

Well I made it home...

So the trip wasn't TOO bad. Lots of hurry up and wait, which is typical of any military operation. We got out of Iraq fairly quickly, but were stuck in Kuwait for a little over 24 hours waiting on a flight. Of course we had all the mandatory briefings, don't beat up your family, don't drink too much, DO show up for your flight back to Iraq on time. That kind of thing.

From Kuwait we flew to some airport in the back of beyond in Germany. We sat in an empty terminal for several hours while they refueled the plane and waited on the new crew. Once they got there it was take-off time and we were headed for Atlanta. That was VERY quick and easy. In and out of Atlanta before we really had a chance to adjust. Then we were in Chicago. The last stop before home. We found our gate, made sure we'd be able to get on the plane (we had reserved tickets so no concern there), and then I suggested we find one of the out of the way bars and grab a quick beer. My buddy I was traveling with thought it was an OK idea, so on we went. We walked around the corner, ordered a beer, and someone offered to buy it for us. Very nice. But like anything else relating to the Army the joy didn't last long. I had barely put the cup up for my first sip when someone tapped me on the shoulder… "Excuse me Sergeant, you're not really going to drink that beer are you?" He was a short guy, in a funny looking hat, but as he was addressing me he whipped out an ID card identifying himself as a Major.

"Sir, we just want to have one each quietly in the corner here, then we're going to go catch our plane. We just got home on leave from Iraq."

"So did I, but rules are rules, now put it down and just walk away."

Well, unfortunately he's an officer and that was a pretty direct (although chickenshit) order. I complied. Of course the very nice bartender asked me if the beer was OK, and I said "Oh yeah, it's great, but this guy back here is a Major and he says I'm not allowed to drink this. Sorry about that, but you'll have to talk with him." Then out we went. It seems that civilians can support the troops, but sometimes we forget how to do that ourselves.

The plane landed on time, and we made it into Lincoln just fine. The nieces are HUGE, and talking in sentences. The nephew is nearly as big as the nieces at only six months old! It's crazy!

2006-12-07T23:21:00.000-06:00

Are we pot committed in Iraq?

In my last apparently controversial blog entry my mom mentioned the 'gambler's fallacy' regarding whether or not we're continuing in Iraq because we fallaciously believe we're committed to doing so.

I'm going to attempt to work that out a bit here. As I start typing this I'm trying not to hold any opinion, and you'll be reading me working the problem out on paper. I sincerely doubt I'll be able to arrive at an answer, but it's an interesting intellectual exercise at 6am while I'm watching the Steelers beat up on the Browns (10-0 at the half).

Re: the gambler's fallacy. In poker we call that being 'pot committed'. Essentially you have so much already invested in the hand that you must continue to play. But the decision to continue play isn't made in a vacuum. It's a function of the amount already invested vs. the amount needed to continue, the odds of the hand you're playing, and the history/behavior of the player with whom you're contending.

Are we pot committed in Iraq? First, what must we continue to invest, and what are the potential gains?

The continued investment is difficult to conceive. The Iraq working group chaired by James Baker listed several options. I think however the option put forward by Senator McCain of increasing troop strength for a time would be more likely to gain us success. That and a shift back to more offensive tactics. Certainly a strong continued presence in the country would be required, with at least present troop levels maintained.

The potential gains are even more nebulous. To be honest we wouldn't gain much through any perceived victory. But we stand to lose a great deal. The end result could be a religious civil war across all of Islam. And since Islam sits on the largest centralized oil reserves in the world that would be bound to have a disastrous effect on the global economy. The reality probably wouldn't be that extreme, but you'd certainly see Iraq split into three factions along Sunni/Shia/Kurd lines. The Shia majority would likely leave the Kurds alone. The Peshmerga are fierce and brutal fighters who wouldn't pander to public opinion the way we must do and would crush any insurgency in their territory utterly. The Sunni would probably be subjected to attempted genocide or secular/tribal cleansing. The enmity between Muslim, Serb and Croat was neighborly disagreement compared to the level on which these people can hate.

How much have we invested thus far?

The last monetary figure I saw was on the order of 387 billion dollars. Additionally the lives of 3000 Soldiers, Marines, Sailors and Airmen (some of whom were my personal friends), and the countless man-hours of individual service members and contractors.

Can we afford to cast this aside? Not easily. Much national pride and political capital sits in the pot. To fold now might lose us a great deal of respect in global affairs and cause us to have to bargain from a weakened position later.

What are the odds of us winning?

This is much more difficult. I'd almost be likely to say it can't be done at this time. To truly engage and defeat the insurgency would require tactics so barbaric and violent that US public opinion would have us on the way home and on trial for crimes against humanity, and would damage our military's social standing probably beyond repair.

The tactics required would in my opinion be Alexandrian/Roman/Nazi. Entire villages known to support the insurgency would have to be 'depopulated'. Either through just putting the people on the street and plowing the village under, or driving in and killing everything that runs, walks or crawls. You can't buy these people off. They don't stay bought, and there's no concept of loyalty outside their tribe.

Which leads to the last point. How has the player we're contending with played hands like this in the past? The answer is, very well. The Arabs are particularly skilled at insurgency and preservation of their culture despite pressing influence from the outside world. They've only historically succumbed to brutal totalitarianism in the past, and are unlikely to ever accept a democracy foisted upon them from outside their society.

Sorry, no answers here in the end. It's a problem who's complexity is beyond my ability to solve. But I hope I've shown enough of my work (yes, I'm making a calculus analogy) that maybe someone smarter than me can work the other analogy (the poker one, thanks mom) a bit further.

Less than a week and I'm on my way home. I have today off so I'm doing some packing and getting a box shipped off. I'm also going to hit the gift shop on the east side and see what other fun goodies they might have. Also my last chance to really hang out with my friend Dan as he's an IRR soldier who'll rotate home for good while I'm home on leave and if history is any indicator I'm unlikely ever to see him again.

Be well all, and may the force be with you.

2006-12-03T23:21:00.000-06:00

So I got a myspace mail today...

And the subject line was 'Hello from San Francisco'. This was my first clue, for while San Francisco is a beautiful city I've not seen a political or social decision come out of there that I thought even bordered on logic or rationality.

The text of the e-mail was this:

I am so sorry that you are stuck in Afghanistan! I went to every protest against the war hoping that people of this damn country will wake up and do something to bring our entire troop home! It didn..t help!

Sincerely,

Mina

Now the front of my profile pretty clearly states that I'm in Iraq. If you bother to read my blog you'll see that while life over here is sometimes difficult and most often dull I do believe in what we do here, and have no love or respect for the people I'm fighting.

What sort of misguided liberal naievete' would make someone think comments such as this are at all appropriate or likely to be positively received? My politics are tough to pigeon-hole, on some issues I'm extremely left wing, on others I'm farther right than those guys with jack boots and swastika arm bands. I like to think that most of my political and sociological opinions are based on observations, experience, and logical reasoning. More importantly when I'm wrong about something I have a pretty solid history of admitting such and seeking information to help me reform a better opinion.

I'm not going to let something like this bother me too much. I post this here not to invite attacks on the person who sent me this message, rather to point out the unbelievable gall of persons who have so much faith in the 'rightness' of their own position that they will cross any line in order to put that message out there (Fred Phelps, I'm looking at you here).

Hope everyone's doing well. Less than ten days and I'll be flying home on leave. I can't wait to relax on the couch watching TV, and use the bathroom without having to run outdoors.

See you all soon!

MTFBWY

2006-11-27T23:20:00.000-06:00

Dear (deity of your choice) what have I put in my mouth?

Ah, Army food. One of those long running cliche's which holds so much truth that it may never die. Now don't read too much into this, the chow halls over here are first rate. Well prepared, recognizable food, hot without being overcooked. But due to our scheduling and lack of proximity to the chow hall we almost never are able to eat there. So our one 'hot' meal per day is usually served to us at midnight out of mermites (insulated plastic food containers kind of like a portable steam table), and with little choice of items.

Tonight was salisbury steak, onion rings, succotash, and fried bits of some darkish meat substance. Originally we took it to be overcooked chicken nuggets, so very few of us selected them. But of course there are a couple guys who just can't stomach salisbury steak, or have a perverse fondness for chicken nuggets. Keep in mind that the entry control point isn't lighted at all, so you're seeing your dinner with a flashlight as you serve it up, and are often times eating in the dark finding your mouth by luck and instinct (silverware just isn't used).

My buddy who shares my check point with me had passed on dinner and I elected for salisbury steak so I was unsuspecting. I was just nibbling onion rings when I heard a coughing choking sound that for once wasn't our generator dying. Then over the radio I heard "Oh dear god, what IS that!" there was a pause, heavy with anticipation, then "Oh my god it's LIVER!"

"Last calling station did you say it was liver?"

"Affirmative, affirmative, some bastard breaded and fried little chunks of liver!"

"Are you OK? Do you need help?"

It was quickly established that those who had attempted to eat the liver were not in any immediate danger, but all agreed it was a dirty trick for the KBR guys at the chow hall to have played on us.

Most of the chow hall workers are foreign nationals, Pakistanis, Phillipinos, Indians and normally supervised by a few US Soldiers. We agreed that it was foolish of them to have done such a thing as we are all heavily armed and somewhat frustrated at our lack of opportunity to shoot people. Serving us breaded fried liver chunks seemed an almost suicidal breech of dining hall etiquette.

At the end of our shift it was agreed that we would meet again to plan some sort of counter liver mission. It's doubtful you'll hear any more on this subject from me in order to protect those who should be presumed innocent until proven otherwise.

MTFBWY

2006-11-21T23:20:00.000-06:00

Not another holiday

It's almost 4am on Wednesday morning as I write this. I just got off duty about an hour ago and I'm still in the process of warming up. There's something about using a port-a-john when it's 40 degrees outside and you're wearing gloves, long underwear, body armor and two weapons that just makes the process somehow unpleasant. I'm here to tell ya', it's not the temperature, it's the length of exposure that gets ya'.

So tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Another holiday over here. We were at Camp Shelby last year for what I'm going to list as the worst thanksgiving dinner I've ever had. At least this year I'll have the option of treating myself to a pizza before I go on duty.

Here's the thing about holidays in a combat zone. You just go on with your regular duties and activities and in general try and pretend it's just another day. At least that's the way I handle it. If I focus too hard on what I usually do back home it just makes it harder.

So far in Iraq I've had Memorial Day, the 4th of July, a Labor Day that turned out to be the worst day I think I've ever experienced (go look up the blog entries), Veteran's Day, and now Thanksgiving. On the plus side it looks like I'll be home for Christmas on leave, but I'll just be getting on the plane around New Year's Eve.

Missing New Year's is NOT a big deal though. New Year's of 04-05 was my first official date with Cori (the latest ex). That was the first successful New Year's date I think I'd had since I was a senior in high school (gotta find Charlotte Doeschot one of these days).

Now of course my second favorite holiday (first is of course Christmas) is St. Patty's Day. And we celebrated that one in style on the French Quarter in New Orleans. No one parties like a bunch of soldiers heading off to war, so there may be some romanticism clouding my memories of that event, but my buddy Nick and I have vowed that we're going to do St Patty's day in New Orleans every year from here onward. Of course this coming St Patty's day we'll either still be here, at Fort McCoy, Wisconsin outprocessing, or Camp Ashland, Nebraska going to BNCOC. But St Patty's day '08 we'll be hanging off a bar in the French Quarter again tossing beads at coeds like the dirty old men we are.

So to sum up. Thanksgiving this year, stuffed crust pepperoni pizza. This past Labor Day, one I'd just as soon forget, Christmas will be at home with my family and with any luck an adult beverage or two. New Year's, probably on a plane somewhere heading back here, but fortunately not for much longer.

With any luck I won't have too many more holidays in combat zones.

MTFBWY...always

2006-11-17T23:19:00.000-06:00

Heroism

This word gets tossed around pretty frequently. Please don't apply it to me. I'm just a man trying to do what I see as my duty, nothing more. Heroism is mostly a matter of circumstance. Audie Murphy, Alvin York, Joshua Chamberlain, Leonidas etc. are all men who were in bad places at difficult times. Their inate quality allowed them to succeed and (but for Leonidas and his valiant 300) survive. Certainly many of us here and elsewhere are brave, but few of us are heroes. I'm not one of them.

Things have been continually dull here for the past month. I'm counting down days on the calendar 'til I go home on leave, and unfortunately this makes time seem to drag even more slowly.

Seems like the housing market in Lincoln is set up for buyers right now. I've got two townhomes picked out. here, and here.

All I have to do now is get my down payment together, get my financing approved, and get ready to move. I notice both deals say that closing costs will be paid. Does any one know what this means? I'm not sure how much money this will save me, or exactly what closing costs they mean.

Those interested in learning more about heroism and it's nature and mythos are encouraged to read 'The Hero with a Thousand Faces' by Joseph Campbell and 'Why Courage Matters' by one of my personal heroes Senator John McCain.

Less than a month and I'll be home with a black and tan in hand and a big smile on my face. See you all then!

MTFBWY

(oh, and someone with our family support group make sure they're playing 'Throne Room Finale' from the Star Wars soundtrack when we have our welcome home ceremony)

2006-11-13T23:19:00.000-06:00

I'm a TV star!

This will be old news to all my family members that read this, but here's the text and video from the interview I did last week.

http://www.kolnkgin.com/home/headlines/4628576.html

You can view the video by clicking on the link at the top of the story. This oughta be good for a few free beers while I'm home on leave!

2006-11-09T23:18:00.000-06:00

Quick Update

Well, I finally got my leave date. I'm supposed to be flying out of here on the 13th. No idea yet how long the trip's going to take, but generally it takes a day or two to get back to the states from here. I'm planning to fly into Lincoln, and probably going to sleep for sixteen hours straight once I get back.

The interview went pretty well. Pretty softball questions, and they brought my mom into the studio so I got to talk to her for a few minutes after the interview was over. The TV station should have the video online by Tuesday morning so I'll try to get a link up to it that day.

My mom took a couple photos during the interview and put them on her webpage. You can see them here.

We're getting some additional duties that are going to make our days a little longer, so I won't have as much time to myspace and e-mail, but I'll try to at least keep my blog updated. Don't be all pissed if I don't have a chance to answer every e-mail I get, taking care of my soldiers and accomplishing my mission still has to come first.

Be well, and I'll see everyone in about five weeks.

MTFBWY

2006-11-04T23:18:00.000-06:00

I'm still not exactly a movie star, but...

Our public affairs office does these profiles of Soldiers and then let's us be interviewed by a TV station back in Lincoln (KLIN channel 10).

I went out to work early yesterday and shot a bunch of what they call 'B roll' which was just some guy following me around with a camera while I pretended to work. It would have been better of course if they could have come out while I was actually there with my guys, but I work the night shift and obviously lighting is a problem.

On Tuesday I go in for the 'live to tape' interview. I was told it'll be about two minutes or so worth of questions that should be pretty softball, like what I do, where I've been before, what do I miss the most. It should air next Saturday (Veteran's Day) or Sunday on channel 10 in Lincoln. If I can find a web link to it I'll post it here in my blog.

Morty the muj has been getting a little more daring lately, but nothing too serious. I still wish they'd sack up and actually try something against a fixed defensive position (i.e. mine). But then again most military persons know that's a losing proposition from minute one. The muj is not an amazing soldier, but he's not completely stupid either.

Sorry, still no leave date. The Sergeant who handles all of our paperwork (and that's a hell of a job let me tell ya') said he wouldn't know for sure 'til the 11th. I hope this doesn't inconvenience too many of my friends/family. I can tell ya' though that it looks like it should be mid-December, so there's a pretty good chance I'll be home for Christmas and possibly New Year's.

Well, I'm going over to the big PX on the east side to spend a little combat pay. Be well everyone.

MTFBWY

2006-10-29T23:17:00.000-06:00

What Iraq really needs

Sorry it's been a bit since my last entry. I wish I could say it was due to being involved in alot of interesting and demanding activities, but the fact of the matter is every day has been full of the same mundane BS as the day before.

So tonight we watched one of my favorite '80s movies 'Better Off Dead'. A few days prior we had watched 'Revenge of the Nerds'. Apparently it's '80s movie week at the south ECP.

We got to talking about the one thing all '80s movies seem to have in common and that's the montage where everything gets fixed. The nerds clean up the house, Lane and Monique fix his Camaro, Woody Harrelson and Juliette Lewis slaughter a bunch of people.

We decided that what Iraq really needs is a good montage. Pick some appropriate background song (should be '80s music) and then cut to a bunch of Iraqis working on their power lines, picking up trash on the side of the road when a Shiite and a Sunni cross the street, smile and shake eachother's hand.

So here's the contest. From your own imagination compose the best 80s movie montage of Iraqis 'fixing things up'. Theme songs and cut scenes of your own, but following the general idiom. Feel free to include a helpful robot, sassy french girl, nerdy boy trying to get the attention of a girl who's way too hot for him, but let's leave the bloody slaughters in the Tarentino movies. I'm definitely thinking more John Hughes here...

2006-10-19T23:17:00.000-05:00

Ramadan winds down

Ramadan is a monthlong celebration of Islam, and includes the practice of fasting during daylight hours, frequent prayer, charity and self-accountability. It's can be compared to the Christian lenten period, but holds the same signifigance western culture attaches to Christmas. But unlike the Christian celebration of the birth of their god, which is a time for peace and fellowship with all men Muslims believe Ramadan is a time when Allah blesses military ventures. So Ramadan for Muslims is a time of combat.

In 1914 during the the largest war at the time ever fought in Europe the troops famously stopped fighting on Christmas. Spontaneously. No cease fire was ever called, and in fact commanders in the rear on both sides were ordering that their troops re-occupy their positions and begin fighting. Instead they exchanged food, sang carols, and played football (we'd call it soccer).

I'm not a Christian myself, but I can appreciate the spirit of the celebration of Christmas. I just don't get Ramadan. These assclowns seem to celebrate it by blowing up more patrols and convoys, and dropping mortars into villages. And let me tell ya', they can't aim their mortar systems well enough to know if they're hitting the police station, city hall, the hospital or the elementary school.

Around here we saw a slight rise in mortar fire and IEDs. My buddies who do convoy escorts got hit last night. Nothing serious fortunately. I was walking to the bathroom this morning when I woke up and the soldier who lives in the room nextdoor to me came limping out with a big bandage on his foot. He took some shrapnel to his foot last night, but he's fine and will be back on duty in a few days. Now he gets free license plates (my personal euphemism for earning a purple heart) for life. I'm just very very glad they're all OK.

On to other subjects. Since I volunteered for this deployment and it put me over the two year mark in a five year period I get a bonus for the last six months of the 18. I just got the notification of the first bonus payment which will get deposited next week. I'm sure I'll be able to come up with something good to spend the extra money on.

Six weeks 'til I get home on leave. I need to get a new cell phone. My best friend Scott is an electrical engineer at Motorola and designs new phones. I'm sure he'd like me to get a new RAZR, and I do like them, but I'm leaning toward a Blackberry. Anyone got any advice on the subject? I'll probably be getting it within a few hours of getting off the plane for leave in Nebraska so I can connect with everyone (I'll advise then what my new .. will be).

Not much else interesting going on right now. Just fighting boredom and counting down days. The guy I share a checkpoint with on nights we work the front of the ECP and I have a little celebration at the end of every shift. One more day down. Of course he goes home on leave next week, one day after his 21st birthday. So he's got extra reason to be excited.

Keep in touch, and I'll be home sooner rather than later!

MTFBWY

2006-10-13T23:16:00.000-05:00

Rainy Season!

We'll probably be sick of it soon enough, but the rainy season has arrived in Iraq! Of course last night it rained mud, which is what you get when you combine a soft rain with a dust storm. I was washing dirt out of places that most people wouldn't believe dirt could get after we got off shift.

When I was walking to the gym this afternoon it was overcast, and not nearly as hot. Then I heard a crack of thunder (don't ever let anyone tell you it sounds like artillery or mortar fire or whatever, it doesn't). I love thunderstorms, so now I'm in an extra good mood.

Of course I needed to be in a good mood after I talked to one of my buddies about what he'd seen on patrol a couple days ago. Seems a young woman approached them with her three year old son. His entire body from the armpits down was a single large third degree burn. She wondered if the patrol could do something to help the child. Obviously the task was beyond the field medic, he informed her she must take the child to a hospital immediately. Of course even then the chance that the child will survive are minimal. The saddest thing is this is a result of a standard Iraqi form of disciplining naughty children. They dunk them in very hot water. Seems the young mother had just mis-estimated the temperature of her disciplinary bath. What kind of morally and ethically bankrupt culture are we supporting over here? These people suck.

2006-10-05T23:16:00.000-05:00

Current Events

Well, I have to adjust to another sleep schedule, but this time it's a good thing. We just transitioned to eight hour shifts.

I was on duty last night, staring up at the stars thinking that at night most places in the world look about the same. Or at least the stars do. It's cooling off here and it didn't feel that different from a late summer's night back home in Nebraska. Of course this reverie was ruined almost immediately by an explosion in the distance and two Apache helicopters flying about fifty feet overhead rattling me down to my toenails.

We're definitely over the halfway point now, the weather's getting better, and I go home on leave in about two months. I don't know if I'll be back for Christmas. We won't know our exact leave dates until the first week of November, but with my luck I'll end up spending Christmas in some airport holding area on the way back here. C'est la guerre.

Time to grab a shower and go collect laundry and make a quick trip by the PX. Hope everyone's well. Not much longer now.

MTFBWY

2006-09-30T23:15:00.000-05:00

Thermopylae
Current mood: excited

Twenty-five hundred years ago on a remote mountain pass in northern Greece approximately five thousand Hoplites of various city-states stood shoulder to shoulder against a Persian army that may have numbered as many as one million men.

Chief amongst the greeks were 300 Spartan homoioi (peers). The elite land holders and nobles of their civilization. They arrived there knowing their lives would most likely be forfeit, and yet there they stood.

On the morning fighting commenced Xerxes the Persian emperor is reputed to have offered the Spartans the 'privelege' of surrender. He would set them up as the most honored tenant of his realm. "Spartans, Xerxes desires not your lives, only your arms!"

Leonidas, king of Sparta knew the fate of a fragile alliance of Hellenic cities hung in the balance. If he accepted Sparta would be saved, but Greece would fall. But Leonidas rejected Xerxes' offer of slavery saying simply "Molon labe!" Come and get them.

For four days the Greeks formed a phalanx blocking the pass and inflicting horrendous casualties on their Persian foes.

Finally with the help of the traitor Ephialtes Xerxes' Immortals found a trail running around the Greek position and prepared to surround the Spartans. The night before this happened Leonidas released the soldiers of all other cities, that they might spread the story of the Spartan's sacrifice and bring heart to the final battle which must by necessity occur further into Greece at a later date (it did, with a sea battle at Salamis, and a land battle which annihilated the Persian armies at Platea). Only the Thespians remained. And these few stood surrounded by the Persians, chewed apart by their arrows, and died to the last man.

I really believe that in his heart every soldier wants to fight in a battle that means something. If you're going to bear the lot of a soldier, then it might as well be for a purpose.

On March 16th Sony Pictures will release 'The 300' based on Frank Millers graphic novel, telling of these events.

The trailer can be viewed here:

http://www.worstpreviews.com/trailer.php?id=453&item=0

This movie is going to absolutely rule! Someone save me a seat. Chances are I'll see this one more than 'Star Wars'!

2006-09-29T23:15:00.000-05:00

Random News
Current mood: awake

Through some odd manipulation of fate I ended up with an extra night off. Don't ask me why. In the Army all things happen by the stroke of the platoon sergeant's pen.

The last blog entry of current events was pretty popular, unfortunately it's only about 48 hours old, so not alot has happened of late.

I remember saying in an earlier blog entry that Muji can't shoot. I'm pretty sure I can say this much. We're on the biggest base in Iraq, and they shoot mortars at us fairly often. Pretty much daily. It's a big base, with alot of open area so very little danger. But, here's the funny thing. Most days they can't even hit the base. I'm serious, this place is bigger than alot of Nebraska towns, and somehow they can't manage to hit this huge ass target.

There's a saying in Islam "insh'allah" basically it means 'as god wills'. So that's how they shoot. They point their weapons in a general direction and fire. If god wills it they'll hit something. You'd think by now they'd have decided that their god isn't on their side. As Han Solo once said 'Hokey religion and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.'

So some kind soul bought me a few books and DVDs off my Amazon wishlist (thanks!). One of them was 'Mortgages for Dummies'. Holy crap! That was one useful book! I read it last night on duty and found out all KINDS of interesting things. Here's a tip for other home buyers. Understanding the housing market is important, understanding your credit rating moreso, but if you don't understand mortgages and financing you're really going to come up short. Did anyone else know I can withdraw up to $10,000 from my 401(K) to put toward a down payment on a home with no penalties? Additionally when most people think of the interest rate structure for a mortgage they think of regular fixed rate only. But there are adjustable rate mortgages, and hybrids as well as some even more exotic products. If your other finances are in order you'll find you can afford alot more home than you thought possible.

On a down note my PSP somehow got smashed last night. We came in the lane from searching trucks, I did some log entries and housekeeping then went to turn on my PSP and just a cracked screen and funny noises. Oh well, I'm ahead moneywise, I thought. So when we got off I trucked over to the PX to buy a new one, but alas... No PSPs where in stock. Gonna be a couple weeks. No big deal, I don't really need it until I fly home on leave in December.

Since we've been working twelve hour shifts I've been neglecting my gym time. I wish I could tell ya' I've been working out hard every day, but why lie? I've been eating too much crap, drinking too many sodas, and not putting any time on the road or under the weights. We're going back to eight hour shifts in a few days, so there goes that excuse.

Anyone interested in a serious workout program is challenged to visit my mentors at crossfit. I'll be back in fighting trim in no time.

Hope all is well back home. Miss you all, and I'll see you all in a couple months.

MTFBWY

2006-09-27T23:14:00.000-05:00

Random Rumblings

September is now 90% complete. That means we're over the 1/2way mark. Just an imaginary mark on a calendar, but that's how you mark time around here. How long 'til you go on leave, how long 'til you rotate home.

I had to do health and welfare inspections this morning for my soldiers. Anyone who knows me (or gods help them has helped me clean house) knows that I'm the last person who should be charged with checking on the cleanliness of others. The absurdity of the situation was not lost on me, so I pulled off my combat boots, put on my flip flops and my gold lens Oakley sunglasses. Oddly enough everyone's rooms looked really good. Well, mine needs some work.

I want everyone to write to Ducati and tell them how absolutely wonderful they are for releasing the 2007 Monster S4R. It has a more powerful engine, better brakes and suspension than the '06 model, and is priced $500 less! So guess what I'm investing in when I get home?

The weather's cooling off finally. Last night it dropped into the low 70s. We were out on the lane searching trucks, and I actually had to put on my fleece jacket. But I kind of have a cold and I had the chills.

I've been house hunting online, and found several places that I like. I need to study up on mortgages a bit more, but I've been working hard the past few years on improving my damaged credit rating, and I'm seeing some results. I don't know that I'm going to buy right when I get home, I may enjoy a summer with the pool at the apartment complex first, besides home prices go down even more in the October/November time frame so I'm told. Can anyone confirm?

Tonight's my night off, and I just got season 2.5 of Battlestar Galactica from Amazon today. Right now I'm typing this and listening to music, but I'm gonna have a little sci-fi marathon here as soon as this is posted.

That's about it for now. I'll pass along more news if/when it happens.

2006-09-19T23:14:00.000-05:00

Trying to get back to topics

"Love is where you find it. I think it is foolish to go looking for it, and I think it can often be poisonous."

A couple weeks back I said I'd try to speak to the quote above. It's something from Vonnegut (one of my favorite writers), and while I'm far from an expert on matters of the heart I think I have some experience here as one who's repeatedly tried and failed.

First off let's break down just who I am for those of you who may not yet know me. I'm not decorative, although I do clean up well. I'm not a party animal, although when out with people who's company I truly enjoy I can tear it up with the best of them. I'm not wise, but in place of wisdom I substitute observation from life experience and a sort of centrist point of view. That's a quick nutshell.

Now then, love and the everlasting quest for it. Let's right off the bat pitch the concept of lust and separate the two. Not that I have any great desire to really rid myself of lust. I'm a big fan of it, and believe that as long as the approach is honest lust can be satisfied without engendering pain. But lust is not love, although we often confuse ourselves on this issue, and that may be the central point of this whole theme. Let's examine.

Poets and romantics can define love far better than I can, but I always thought of love as having a partner you can trust absolutely. Having a love means having a friend, an advocate, a counselor, and a lover and so much more embodied in a single person. Lust means having someone you find physically attractive with whom you'd like to spend a few hours of joyful activity. The thing is, you can satisfy lust with your lover but when lust is sated the best part of that relationship remains.

My experience has convinced me that love is best found when it is stumbled upon accidentally. Otherwise unrealistic expectations sabotage a potential relationship before it even begins. I like the quote from Robin Williams in 'Good Will Hunting':

"You're not perfect sport, and let me save you the suspense, this girl you've met she's not perfect either. But the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other."

Seeking out 'true love' is the blueprint for unrealistic expectations. Unrealistic expectations are the blueprint for misery. I'm not gonna walk that road. Instead I choose to live my life, and if in the future I stumble onto love again (I have and have blown it a couple times so far) I'm gonna try a little harder and hang on. Until then I promise to be me, strange as I am, and move forward with other things. Oh yeah, no more fix-ups either.

I guess step one is still getting home in one piece though, isn't it?

Oh well, the muj is still a crappy shot, our vehicle armor is very good, and so are me and my guys.

May the force be with you...always.

2006-09-11T23:13:00.000-05:00

Getting on with it

It's been a week since the events I covered briefly in my previous blog entry. I'm doing OK. We had a sort of stress remediation group session with some counselors and that honestly was kind of helpful. More than that, just being around everyone and talking through events is better.

Now I feel guilty sometimes when I'm happy about something, or I'm focusing on some event or person, or thing I want to do when I get home. I remember that my friends won't be able to do these things anymore. Why them and not me?

Am I being selfish by dwelling on this? Should I just move on as if none of what's happened bothers me?

Just some stuff I'm sort of struggling with.

2006-09-06T23:13:00.000-05:00

Why it was a bad day

Sunday night and Monday morning turned out to be the worst day I've ever experienced.

I volunteered to spend my day off as a gunner in a good buddy's vehicle on a convoy escort mission. My first time outside the wire, finally a little action.

It's said that you should be careful what you wish for. Now I know why...

On the return trip the lead vehicle in our convoy driven by my friend DB (you can still see his profile from my top friend's page) struck an IED. I'm not going to go into alot of details in this forum, but my friend was killed. Two more Soldiers I know well were injured, but will be back on duty soon.

I wanted to be a combat veteran, and now I just want DB back, and my other friends Josiah and Luis to be well.

DB's memorial service here in Iraq will be on Friday. I'll see if I can get a picture or two in order to share the experience.

Thank you again to everyone for your support (Grandma, I got your care package yesterday, folks at Arbor Day I got yours this morning). We need our friends and family at home now, more than ever.

2006-09-03T23:12:00.000-05:00

The no good very bad day
Current mood: sad

Today was a no good very bad day. I'll write more when I can.

2006-08-29T23:11:00.000-05:00

Sad News

I'm sad to report that my comrade Staff Sergeant Jeffrey J. Hansen passed away at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany Sunday. His family was at his side. It's difficult at this time to convey the degree to which we will miss him.

2006-08-26T23:11:00.000-05:00

What's Cool?

I've got no new information to pass on regarding my injured comrades from my previous post, so I'm just going post something else that's been on my mind lately.

What makes someone 'cool'? Of course the word and idea behind it is very subjective. But overall who are people who are respected? The first thing, and the most cliche'd is that a person who is respected must respect themselves. Maslow's heirarchy of needs says that a person's ultimate need is self actualization. But like being cool being self actualized isn't something one can follow down a checklist of items in order to achieve an end. Most importantly some people's goals for achievement can be impossibly high.

Back in elementary school one of my teachers told me one of the dumbest things I think I've ever heard. 'Never let your reach exceed your grasp.' What kind of Marxist 'worker's paradise' crap is that? If a person limits their dreams to only those things they know they can achieve then that person has no dreams. Their goals will be as simple as the acquisition of material things or money merely for the purpose of having them.

I'm going to paraphrase what I remember as Vonnegut who said man's purpose in life was 'to be the eyes, the ears, the consciense of the creator of the universe...'. I'm a bit hamstrung with that one since I have no faith that there is a creator of the universe, but I can make allowances. If in place of the creator of the universe you inserted the idea of a collective consciousness of all mankind, then that's an idea I can get behind. But how does that make one cool? By most standard definitions the last three paragraphs I've written would make me decidedly uncool in pop culture circles. Eh, pop culture morons. If your life goals are to provide decoration and entertainment, then that's fine, but I sort of feel sorry for you.

So to be cool one must have a consciense. Okay, I could go for that I guess. What else?

What do I think is cool? People who've accomplished something. People who are educated, and strong, and able. Look at my friends list, there's a bunch of guys close to the top that I'm serving with over here. Every one of them is in my opinion 'cool'. Except for the fact that one of them is a Yankees fan, I couldn't think of a bad thing to say about any of them.

I know I quote Heinlein alot, but here's another one from him that I quite like: "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." I think to be cool one should be a bit more capable then a one trick pony. To be accomplished, to be able a person should be well rounded, a rennaisance man as it were.

So in my opinion a person who's cool should be accomplished, and have a conscience. Good starts there. But where is this taking us? Why does it matter?

Hey, it's just a blog. I can't offer all the solutions. It's just my observations of the world around me...

I'm going to close this meandering with a quote on love I found while looking up some Vonnegut stuff:

"Love is where you find it. I think it is foolish to go looking for it, and I think it can often be poisonous." Think on that one, if I can maintain some self-discipline I'll blog on it next time.

2006-08-23T23:10:00.000-05:00

I'm OK

Two days ago my unit had a serious accident. While out on patrol one of our humvees slipped off a canal bank road and into the waterway. Several of the crew were critically injured and have been medevaced to Germany. The families of these soldiers have been informed of the incident and the soldiers' status.

Those of you who are religious please include them in your prayers, everyone else hope for the best. I'll advise with more details when I have them, and I'm allowed.

2006-08-16T23:10:00.000-05:00

Man Culture?

It's my night off and I'm indulging with some relaxation time in front of the TV. What's on? Thought you'd never ask. I just got done with Jeffrey Ross's documentary about a USO tour of comedians Patriot Act. Now I'm watching season two of Entourage.

Entourage is amazing. For the unitiated it's about a group of four guys, one actor and his three friends following him around Hollywood. Why do I like this show so much? I've pondered on it a bit. Their value system is so divergent from mine. Where's the appeal? Then it hit me, this is a show about men. Unlike every fucking modern sitcom from Raymond to King of Queens to According to Jim and all that other shit, this show doesn't belittle us, or make us look like clowns. Well, there are moments, but in the execution of a man's life he'll make himself look like a clown from time to time.

What's man culture? I feel often like I have to apologize for having a y chromosome and a penis. Modern media, philosophy, and culture have somehow made me out to be the bad guy. Where the hell did that come from? Seems to me we've got at least as much to be proud of as to be ashamed of.

So where am I going with this? What's got my brain tied around this particular topic at this particular moment? I was in a message board debate earlier regarding a person who was offended about being addressed as a 'girl'. Contextually this is difficult to relate, on the one hand I could see her point. Calling any adult by the term normally used to denote a child can be seen as offensive. But in certain contexts it can signify affection, familiarity, or the existene of a mentor/apprentice relationship.

I'm tired of being made to feel apologetic for my gender. Some will argue that with the existence of Maxim magazine, Xbox, Tarentino films, and the eventual resurgence of Dick Dale men's culture never went away. Could be they're right. I say let's celebrate men's culture again. Cleavage, red motorcycles, and well done steaks for all my men, dammit!

This message sponsored by Guiness, Ducati, and World Cup Rugby.

2006-08-10T23:09:00.000-05:00

Sweaty sheets should be more fun

Well, we're officially on the night shift now. It's usually almost the regular lunchtime when we get off work, so I've been going to the gym, then coming back and going to bed.

Last night however was my night off. I sat around and played poker, watched baseball, surfed around, went for a run...well, we really don't need a catalog of the entire evening, do we?

Anyway, after I got back from breakfast I turned in. I woke up in the middle of the afternoon (clock said it was 15:24) and the first thing I noticed was silence. That in itself is pretty weird, since the generator out behind our living area makes a pretty constant low level hum, and you can always hear the air conditioner. The lack of noise from that particular appliance led me directly to my next discovery. My bed was soaked! I have no idea how long the power had been off, but it was friggin' hot in that room! I went outside and there were a couple Malaysian guys servicing our generator. Unfortunately they spoke no English, and my gift for language and non-verbal communication had deserted me sometime in the middle of the night.

They stared at me as I tried to ask when the generator would be back on, and I'm probably lucky they weren't armed, as I'm sure some of the gestures I was using could easily have been misinterpreted. I shuffled back to my room and changed my sheets and laid down to try to go back to sleep. No luck.

It's definitely going to be a long night!

Sweaty sheets should definitely have been more fun!

2006-08-07T23:09:00.000-05:00

It's possible that I'm evil

As least as some would define it. I prefer to think of myself as pragmatic, but a persons perceptions are their everything, so believe what you will. Here's my thoughts:

I read this story online a few moments ago:

Lebanon Demands Cease Fire

Now here's the thing. Despite all this, Lebanon's prime minister is still referring to these unfortunate civilians killed in this raid as 'martyrs'. A typical bullshit concept that puts the worst possible face on innocent death. It relieves the government of all fault in their deaths, and consigns their fate to their god.

I say if Lebanon wants a cease fire, then let them round up and turn over to the Israelis every member of Hezbollah they can get their hands on. And if we can find the few that were responsible for the Marine Barracks in Beirut back in '83 then let us have those. Impossible you say? Well, needs must when the devil drives. If the Lebanese really want the bombing to stop, then they'll find a way that doesn't involve begging, hat in hand, for a result you know won't come about.

My first forray into political blogging, and I'm sure it's not going to make me popular. In fact I know some people I respect (Hi Mom) who will read this and likely be horrified by it.

Now, do I have the guts to hit 'post'?

2006-08-07T23:08:00.000-05:00

Fantasies

Don't worry, this won't involve whipped cream, sweater puppets, or baby oil.

But a common question posited by women to men is 'what are your fantasies?'.

I have a few of them, none of which will probably fit the mold.

Fantasy number one is simple, it's to be involved in something while we're over here. To friggin' shoot back, to do something more useful than stare out into the landscape of Iraq and pray that SOMETHING happens today. Of course someone is going to hit me with 'be careful what you wish for'. To that I say 'bring it!'.

Fantasy number two is indoor plumbing. I just woke up an hour or so ago, and I hate having to stumble out in the middle of the night (which since I'm now on the night shift is actually around 3pm) to go pee.

Fantasy number three is the most fleshed out. The theory of relativity says that as one's speed increases relative to another object then the sense of time is compressed relative to the other object. For the purposes of this narrative we'll call the other object 'everything else' and the object traveling at speed will be me on the Ducati (Monster S2R since I can't quite swing the price of the Monster S4RS).

In my mind's eye I see myself stuffing a a couple hundred bucks in the pocket of my jeans, throwing on my helmet and walking out to the bike. It's a late spring day in Nebraska. Sunny, but the heat hasn't really kicked in yet. My hands are already buzzing with anticipation. I crank the starter, and then I'm in nirvana. I thread my way through town (damn stoplights, stupid mini-vans) until I'm on the I-80 exit, then the fun begins. 25mph warns the sign on the tight right hander putting me into the interestate. Yeah, right. I lean on the throttle, and look over my left shoulder, good to go. Once the turn straightens out I find that I'm very likely committing several moving violations. And the beautiful thing about relativity is that my sense of time while I'm doing this is suddenly not in synch with 'everything else'.

Now if someone knows some good places in eastern Nebraska, West Iowa, Northwest Missouri to go carve some corners please let me know. I'm not sure I can handle riding all the way to Colorado every weekend.

My dad is always on me to put up some more photos. Here's a couple of me and my battle buddy returning from an immediate reaction force mission. Don't let the term freak you out. The immediate reaction force usually rolls out to chase kids away from the gate, or to guard a bunch of engineers building a new fence. But its outside the wire, so it's better than sitting around and picking your nose.

2006-08-03T23:07:00.000-05:00

Some Words

I enjoy words. The encapsulated meanings of ideas, the ability to combine them together in differing contexts and create satire, drama, humor, exposition, to define a convincing argument. My ability to communicate both verbally and in writing is probably the gift of which I'm the most proud.

I'm just going to jot down some words, their definitions and expound a little on what they mean to me.

aesthetics: plural but singular or plural in construction : a branch of philosophy dealing with the nature of beauty, art, and taste and with the creation and appreciation of beauty.

Now I'll never be accused of being an aesthete. In fact I'm probably the exact opposite. I much prefer the beauty of ideal functionality over the decorative. In my view man's artistic endeavors are at their best when they achive a purpose in engineering. That's why I find this:

to be one of the most beautiful works of art man has ever created. Every line is form. Every curve, corner, surface, the entire shape designed to get the maximum performance out of what were once lumps of inanimate metal. Certainly it was created for a terrible purpose, but that does nothing to detract from it's overall beauty.

Mediocrity: The state or quality of being mediocre.
Mediocre:Moderate to inferior in quality; ordinary.

Now that's a funny poster, but it gives me a larger message. I'm all too accepting of mediocrity in others around me, and even moreso in myself. I've got no excuses for my own mediocrity. Everything about me speaks of the far right end of the bell shaped curve. Truly the quotation "There's nothing so common as talent squandered." applies to me. I have a lackadaisical attitude about most of life. I can do better. I should have, up to now, done better. But Hollywood movies lie. The protagonist doesn't just one day discover his calling and is suddenly endowed with a font of energy and motivation. True success comes from tenacity. The day after day sustainment of excellence. It's hard, which is why truly successful people are pretty damned rare.

Love: Far too many definitions to list, so I'll pick a couple I like best. From the master himself Robert A. Heinlein. "Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." Next we have the inventor of the modern story William Shakespeare: " My bounty is as deep as the sea, My love as deep; the more I give to thee, The more I have, for both are infinite." Now I'm sure someone's going to think I missed Yeats or Shelly or some other murkier and more romantic old European, but these are not in my.... my....

(Patsy: Idiom sir?)

Idiom, yes, thank you.

Camaraderie: a spirit of friendly good-fellowship. That's the Webster's definition. BUZZ, not even CLOSE! No one who has experienced the camaraderie of soldiers could define the concept so lightly.

For the past five months my mortar section had been attached to another platoon, separated, and integrated into other working units to accomplish a different mission, but today we got back together for four days of intensive training. It was a long day in the hot sun refreshing skills, and learning some new ones. At the end of it we got to promote one of our guys (Congratulations Specialist Cromwell!), and then went to dinner at the chow hall together. And we clicked back into old familiar rythms as though we'd never been apart. I looked around the romm surreptitiously and could see some envy at the spirit we share. Of course if I said any of this out loud to the guys they'd laugh me all the way out of Iraq, but in a way I don't think they'd be suprised either.

Well, not as many words defined, but alot of words typed. Hope it was fun to read. I know tomorrow's Friday back home, so someone go pull a black and tan and stare at a pretty bartender's ass for me while watching the Cubs get creamed. Time is flying over here, and I'll be home before we know it!

2006-08-01T23:07:00.000-05:00

Balding is a condition, bald is a choice

Well, I broke down today. I'd been trying to grow my hair out since we were in the field on Fort Polk for three weeks (bathrooms were few and far between). I've accepted that I have both thin and thinning hair. So immediately following my morning shower (which thanks to the vagaries of changing to the night shift took place at 1500) I looked in the mirror, grabbed my trusty Mach 3 Turbo and off it all came. Like the subject line says; balding is a condition, bald is a choice.

Folks are still asking what they can send in care packages. I went around to my guys (the ones who were awake anyway) and took a brief survey. Here's the results:

camel hair brushes (to clean the dust off weapons)
lens cleaning kits (for goggles, sunglasses, and weapons' optics)
battery powered digital alarm clocks (timex makes some good inexpensive ones)
single serving powdered drink mixes
good coffee (now that we're on the night shift)
hard bristle scrub brushes (for cleaning dust/mud/sweat off of body armor, boots etc.)
band-aids (for little ouches that you don't want to bother the medic with)
insulated coffee mugs
candy (the selection at the PX sucks, specific requests were starbursts, jelly beans, gummy bears, no chocolate)
electricians tape
Nebraska Huskers memorabilia (posters, bumper stickers, hats)
One guy wanted a signed poster of the 'Scarlets' Nebraska Dance Squad

If anyone wants to send a care package our way drop a line and I'll send you my address.

Thanks again for your continued support!

2006-07-30T22:48:00.000-05:00

Random Rumblings

Well, no photos on this entry, so most folks aren't going to find this as interesting as the last entry, but it's been awhile since I've posted anything, so I know I owe some info' to all my faithful readers.

It's late on a Sunday night here at Camp Anaconda. I must admit I'm going a little stir crazy. Since we shifted hours we don't really get to eat at the chow hall anymore, but tonight we raced home so we could have a section meeting with real sit down food, plates, ice cream and everything. It was quite a treat.

We're having a bit of a shift change for various reasons, and my section is going to be on the night shift. No more sweating my tail end off in 60 pounds of body armor during the middle of the day! Of course now we'll be staying up for twelve hours overnight, but you can't win everything.

I wish I could write something meaningful and heart touching, but the truth is (as I said) I'm just rambling here. I'm also trying to change my sleep pattern, so I'm on a bit of a caffeinne high right now. Not the best for getting the creative juices a-flowin'. Maybe I'll sit around and brainstorm some topics, try to write something worthwhile over the next two days.

'Til then, keep the cards and letters (and care packages) coming.

SSG Murf

2006-07-20T22:47:00.000-05:00

Alot of people write asking me how horrible conditions are here, feeling sorry for what we must be going through.

I mentioned before that we were living pretty plush around here. Well, I gathered up some photos, and decided to share them with everyone.

First, here's where I live:

I'm a Staff Sergeant, so I get my own room. Partially as privelege of rank, but also in order to hold meetings, conduct counselings, and just to get me away from the guys so we all have some time to decompress.

Here's our front walkway:

The break in the concrete barriers in the middle of the picture leads back to our bathrooms about 20 meters away.

Here's the compound from the middle of the quad. On top of the stacked trailers where my room is you can see our satellite dish we use to connect to the internet. It alway kind of reminded me of Melrose Place.

Now I've got something interesting to show ya'.

What's behind those barriers? Lots of concrete there, it must be something important.

Here it is from the other side. Two gun trucks out front protecting it? Must be pretty valuable. Let's look around the corner.

Nope, still can't see anything. What could it be?

With double overhead sandbag covering, concrete bunkers all around, it must be the safest port-a-johns in all of Iraq. Well, at least we can't get hurt while we're going poo.

2006-07-14T22:47:00.000-05:00

What's an Infantryman?

I'm often asked here and elsewhere what exactly an Infantryman is and/or does.

Robert Heinlein described them as the ultimate purpose and arm of the entire military. No other unit exists but to support the infantry directly or obliquely.

I'm an indirect fire Infantryman.. Which means I lead a heavy mortar section (2 120mm cannon crews). In conventional combat our role would be to serve as the commander's first indirect fire asset. We're his hip pocket artillery. Fast, accurate, and extremely destructive, our wide range of ammunition allows us to support front line infantry in almost every situation.

But what's an infantryman? Here's some links I find especially appropriate:

He's an Infantryman

The Infantryman's Creed

Wiki's infantryman page

The Go Infantry Forum

This should give you the flavor of who we are, and maybe what makes us tick (we're all mad, if you really must know).

2006-07-08T22:46:00.000-05:00

Saturday night in Iraq

Well dammit, I had a great paragraph all typed up, and somehow mozilla ate the page, so I have to start over again.

It's Saturday night in Iraq. Germany is kicking the crap out of Portugal for 3rd place in the world cup. Earlier the helicopters were out flying test firing their machine guns, and the night is crystal clear. I can look up and see THOUSANDS of stars (thanks Dr. Linder). Were it not for the 3/4 moon currently up I'm sure I could see the curve of the milky way across the roof of the sky.

Believe it or not I'm having to fight the battle of the waistline here in Iraq. Y'see our job is sedentary. We sit at a gate all day, sometimes we open it up, sometimes we walk around and do maintenance on a vehicle, but for the most part we sit, stare at eachother and sweat, alot. Now you can't stay conscious for very long unless you're replacing all the water you're sweating out, so we never lose that water weight. Add to that the fact that the food is good, and we get served lots and you have a recipe for disaster. So a group of us hits the road or the gym most every night. 45 minutes on the eliptical machine, running a few miles, throwing on a rucksack and going for a walk. Just trying to burn up those excess calories. I'm also having to discipline myself to stay to just one soda per day, and walk past the ice cream bar at the chow hall (thank god they don't have chocolate chip cookie dough, my favorite).

One of my squad leaders (I'm a section sergeant, so I have two squad leaders working under me) took a couple pictures immediately following a reaction force mission the other day, and I'm waiting for him to get them off his camera so I can post them up here. Once I have those I'll post up some shots of my room, and the compound where I live. Trust me, you won't feel sorry for me, it's plush.

Hey, Portugal just scored! WTH?

Anyway, that's Saturday night in Iraq. No beer, no babes, still no Ducati, but me, some good friends, and sights and sounds you couldn't find anywhere else in the world. Oddly enough it's good to be here.

2006-07-06T22:46:00.000-05:00

Well, at least we had fireworks

This will be another quick one. It's about 9:20 in the morning and I need to get my gear on in a few minutes and get out the door.

Our Fourth was pretty quiet. We had a mortar attack, but it didn't land close enough to us to be much of a threat. It wasn't even very hot that day. In fact that last couple days have been nice and windy, which keeps the heat down.

After shift we had a little bar-b-cue in our pod (the collection of trailers where we live) with real stakes, real N/A beer and everything. Add the mortar attack from the morning and we had fireworks and everything.

I'm writing a story set in the future about the decline of traditional military organizations and the rise of private military contractors. Any writing advice from people who actually know what they're talking about would be helpful. I've written a couple pages of background. Should I outline the story first? Do I just go with the flow?

Well, time to pull on my boots and get out the door. Be well everyone, keep those letters and care packages coming.

2006-06-29T22:45:00.000-05:00

Very brief

This'll be a quick one. It's about 9am on the 29th, and we've got guard mount in about an hour.

Cable TV is hooked up. So no more constantly buying DVDs in order to have something to watch. Now I just leave the TV going in the background. Plus I've gotten kind of hooked on the world cup.

I had a couple heat injuries earlier in the month. Dehydration/overheaing one day, and overhydration a couple days later. I'm now paying alot more attention to hydration, especially on the really hot days. On the worst days the sweat is running off of us like trees in a rainstorm. A person can get into trouble quickly in that environment.

The 'T' key on my lapop is sticking. I have to hammer on it a couple times in order for it to execute. Kind of annoying when you type as quickly as I do, and keep having to back up.

I can't believe June is almost over. Time really IS flying. We have zero plans for the fourth of July. Hopefully not much in the way of fireworks, as around here that usually indicates something bad. I'm sill waiting on the platoon sergeant to put out next week's schedule. I have a day off due some time in there, but not sure exactly when yet.

I think I'm going to start working on a story. I won't share too many of the ideas yet, but it's sort of a sci-fi/political type of thing. I'm no Robert Heinlein, or John Scalzi (a new favorite writer), but I'll NEVER be a writer at all if I don't actually write.

Time to start getting dressed up. Hope everyone is well.

By the way, here's my amazon.com wishlist, in case anyone is interested

my amazon wishlist

2006-06-20T20:17:00.000-05:00

Random musings

Sorry it's been so long between entries. It's Tuesday night here in Iraq and to be honest things couldn't be any more normal. Lots of talk going on about the two soldiers captured at a checkpoint near Yousifiyah in the Sunni Triangle. Please everyone be comforted by the fact that it would be damned difficult if not impossible for such a thing to happen to any of my guys.

The first of the guys have started going home on leave. It seems like too soon to me. My leave isn't scheduled until early December. I picked late in our deployment so that I could come back and only have a couple months until we were all done. That and I wanted to have everything paid off, and just be saving money by that point.

I got my yahoo mail fixed. Just took several correspondences with the tech guys at yahoo, and some begging for help on my part and they squared it all away, so I'm back to my regular e-mail.

Just e-mailed Ducati Omaha about my motorcycle. We got prices straight and I'm planning to order a new 2007 Ducati Monster S2R around the same time we leave here so it should be ready for me to pick up when we get home.

Alfa Troop from our squadron (they were attached to a brigade combat team from Pennsylvannia) are just now arriving back in Mississippi and beginning the demobilization process. They've done one hell of a job over here, and I'm proud to know them. Unfortunately I still feel like I can't share the same pride in the job we're doing. Don't get me wrong, it's difficult, physically demanding but instead of dangerous it's merely tedious. We're just getting up going to work, suffering through the heat, and trying not to become complacent. If this is all we do while we're here, I'll feel no pride when we're done; merely relief at the completion of another in a series of interruptions to my life.

2006-06-11T20:16:00.000-05:00

Just another Sunday

I got a care package from my Mom today. Lots of good stuff in there, candy, some lemonade mix (bottled water gets old fast), some magazines, DVDs, newspapers, mail from home and a squirt gun. I also got Ducati's annual catalog of their entire motorcycle product line. It's helpful to keeping up one's motivation.

I also got our Nebraska National Guard monthly newspaper, and in it was a poem written by the mother of one of our soldiers (Her name is Nan Fallon). I'm going to reprint it here, because I think it's pretty cool:

I sent My Son to War Today

I sent my son to war today; his best friend was at his side,

They used to play this game as kids, but in their game no one died.

With tears of fear and tears of pride I hugged him just one more time

Don't worry mom, I'm a soldier now, and I will be just fine

We've trained hard, and we've trained long, to keep you safe at night

It's my job, it's what I do, whether it's wrong or right.

You taught me well, to be a man, a year really isn't that long

Now YOU be tough, and YOU be brave, and YOU mom must be strong.

One million mom's have felt this way, wives and brothers and kin

Defending your country is an honorable job, to take another life a sin

Fields of glory and fields of honor are not just in those high school days

The battlefields of life and war is when it is time for all of us to pray.

Good bye my son, I will see you soon, be careful and be smart

I've never been more proud of you, I love you son, with every beat of my heart.

Nan's son is a soldier in my unit, he was attached to my mortar section for one of our live fire exercises, and I want his mom to know he's a good man, a good soldier, and someone I'm proud to have at my side.

2006-06-09T20:16:00.000-05:00

I'm a new uncle!
Current mood: excited

My sister gave birth to my new nephew back on the 7th. New baby, mom, dad, and big sisters are all doing well. Now I'll have someone new to spoil half to death when I get home!

Additionally, my yahoo mail account was hacked around the same time. So anything anyone received from that address after the 7th, it wasn't me. Yahoo hasn't been any help getting this issue resolved, so I opened a new hotmail account instead. Just leave a comment, or message me here for that new address.

Internet is up and running in everyone's rooms now, so I'm a hero again.